We Bought a 100 Year Old Fixer Upper – Man Vs House Ep.1
Articles,  Blog

We Bought a 100 Year Old Fixer Upper – Man Vs House Ep.1


[Rob] Look at us! In this little fancy gear.
[Corrine] It looks cute! Hey, what’s up everybody? Rob and Corinne here, and you are watching a brand new series here on Threadbanger Man Vs. House!
[Corrine] And this is it! This is our new house! [Rob] Oh.
[Corrine] Yeah, it’s a little bit of a disaster right now, uhm, actually not really even a house anymore. [Rob] Barely, and I wouldn’t even call it a new house, this thing was built in 1927 and there is a lot to be done. So of course we decided to make a series out of it. [Corrine] The best part though is that Lowe’s is gonna be helping us out by sponsoring the series and helping us put all this back together. It’s a match made in DIY heaven! And we need all the help we can get, especially with this guy around. [Rob] What are you even talking about?
[Corinne] They know what I’m talking about. Together we’re gonna be taking this house to a whole other level and making some awesome projects along the way. So let’s get started shall we?! [Corrine] Actually, I think we should take a little step back in time first, to the day we signed our contracts… picked up the keys, and you even carried me over the threshold. *Corinne and Rob giggling* *inbetween kisses* [Rob] We did it, we bought a house Ooh, let’s make out. *Corrine giggling* AREN’T THEY JUST THE CUTEST???? [Corrine] And here we are! We’ve got the living room that goes right into the dining room. These are outside lights. So what are you thinking about this kitchen? We need a new gas range with a hood, white cabinets with a farmhouse sink… (Can you guys stop interrupting each other?) [Rob] What are you talking about? 2x ]
[Corinne, talking more about what she wants in the house] [Rob] The real issue is what is underneath THIS, [Corinne] ’cause there’s no reason to have a carpet in the kitchen other than-
[Rob] Hiding. [Corinne] Yeah! Hiding. *Rob moaning in disgust* Euuughhh [Corinne] It’s hot in here and there’s no air conditioning. So the bathroom is struggling… We’re doing everything here. [Rob] This is great! [Rob] This is the bedroom over here [Corrine] Closet is very smaaall [Rob] We’re gonna need an exterminator also And coming in here, this is the second bedroom *creak creak* Gotta get that fixed [C] So we also need the fireplace to be re-lined I can fix that! (sure Rob) [R] These windows have got to be replaced because these are from 1927. It’s a money trap! It’s a money pit! Here’s where it gets exciting. Check out this backyard this is the deck let’s see what is underneath here. I haven’t even looked yet. Oh. [C] We got this like, crazy old this fireplace thing that could potentially be a pizza oven. We have a little pond, maybe [R] Definitely pond potential
[C] “pondtential” [R] Look at this right here Oh, yeah, top ground roast beef only $3.99! this all needs to be replaced. We got the basement down here, yeah just kick it open.
[C] *giggle* Threadbanger Studios is gonna go all right down in here [C] Yeah I fit right underneath
[R] *thunk of Rob hitting his head* OW! Jesus Christ. This is how old the house is: this is a coal chute with coal. Right here? You see that? Guess who’s the proud owner of that. You are. I don’t even know what all this stuff is. What is this? I own this. We-we own this, whatever this is. Where do these pipes go? What is this what is this?
*knock knock knock knock* I don’t know what this does
[C] Don’t do that. [R] I can do-
[C] Nope.
*furnace noises* [C] I’m leaving. Yep, we definitely have our work cut out for us and Tomorrow is demo day starting at 8:00 a.m. in the morning so… [R] Eight o’ clock in the morning!?!!? [funky music] We’re on our way to Lowe’s! [C]I’m excited. We’re doing it. I’m gonna buy the biggest hammer they have. What are you gonna get? All the things! [R] No. No, none of that yet! [C] It’s like a galaxy! Do we need these? [R] Nope not yet. Getting demolition supplies, come on already Bird feeders! O.O No. [C] This is your section because you’re a tool. No you always need a bucket for something.
[R] yep [R] check out this thing! Yeeeeeahhhh [C] Are you gonna walk around the store holding it like that? Yeah, okay, right?
[C] No! Where’s the really long hammer thingies? [R] Quick question: sledgehammers?
Okay, awesome. You know the thing that I like about Lowe’s they actually have people in their stores to help you! Very nice. Yeah! [R] Striking tools. Oh, yeah Give me crazy eyes. Oh yeah! Here’s Johnny! Have a little axe fight right here. Okay! Alright! (Rob gives up easily.) Respirators. These are cool glasses right here. I want those too Yep, those, too Got some hard hats. [C] Hold on. Let me get the sledgehammer and see if it works Ow, shhh… esus Christ! [R] Now I’m gonna try it with you. All right. We did it we got all of our necessary destruction supplies. And safety gear! back to the house. It’s official! They’re starting up the tractor it is… DEMO DAY! Don’t mess this up. I’m not messing anything up what are you talking about? [C] Don’t mess anything up! Woohoo! *shrieking laughter* That was awesome! Bob, thank you for letting me drive the tractor machine
[Bob] Oh yeah We had a pool of contractors come through, but Bob was the coolest Mainly had to do the fact that I told him I’d let him drive the machine. That was pretty much it.
[C] That was it. Let’s tear the rest of this house up!! [powerful demolition music] [C] I guess we aren’t giving those to Habitat for Humanity anymore! [R] Best. Day. Ever! All right, I’m not sure whether or not the power is hooked up on this one… kidding! Paper towels in the wall! This is the insulation that they used back in the 20s when they were building this house. Oh, this is a t-shirt [C] This is like, hidden clothing from a murder That’s juicy right there! Yep. Wait, there’s more! It’s a turtlenceck! Wow, that’s about your size Corrine! Don’t! I’m helping!
(you go girl!) I heard the walls need to be busted down! All right! That’s enough. That’s good, good for now. Looooook in here! [R] I think we need to call the cops It all makes sense! They buried him in the coal chamber! The clothes they stuck in the walls so that nobody would find them. I knew it! Ooooh, yeah! Ugh! [R] We got the floors getting ripped up Termites. Walls are just coming down My job here is done. [R] I say we just get rid of this whole house while we’re at it! ROB! ROB! We’re supposed to keep that wall! You said that one!
[Bob] No, no.
[C] /Rooooob!/ Day one! Demo complete!
[C] We’re killin’ it! That was exciting! We got the kitchen done, that thing’s over with. [C] found some treasures!
[R] Yeah! Rob, you did a hell of a job! [R] Thanks! [Bob] Too good. That’s the problem. Well that’s all we got for you this week on “Man vs. House.” Be sure that you join us next week as we try to slowly remodel and renovate this home into the home of our dreams! We’re also gonna be starting some Pinterest-worthy DIY projects next week, and, uh… Hopefully starting to put things back together in here as well. Yeah, uh, the roof I think that’s the first thing we need to put back together This is what they talk about when they say take it down to the studs, huh? Yeah, this is it! Are you feeling studly? This was a terrible idea, by the way! Thank goodness for Lowe’s! Oh, we’ll see you around here next time!
Hehehehehe. Aah, what did we get oursELVES INTO?! [C] This was your idea. [R] This was /my/ idea?!

100 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *