The New iPhone is Just Worse
Articles,  Blog

The New iPhone is Just Worse

– [Jony] Most Companies
strive to make their products better. But at Apple, we pride
ourselves on thinking different. That’s why with the iPhone
7, we’ve done something that, at first, seems
counter-intuitive, and then is. We’ve made it worse. – We removed the headphone
jack and that’s all. That’s the new, that’s
the newness right there. It’s just the lack of a
thing that was there and now it’s not. It’s gone, it’s not there anymore. Tada. – [Jony] Once we conceived
of this exciting new update. No, downdate, it was so
beautiful in the way that it allowed me to go home at two PM. – It’s all about simplicity. Everything will run through one port. You might be asking yourself,
“What if I want to charge “my phone while listening to music?” Shit. – [Jony] Apple has always
pioneered sleek beautiful design, which is why you
will fucking hate the literal parade of (mumbles) you need
to plug it into anything as or more complicated than a doughnut. – Oh! You could just go buy a pair
of Bluetooth headphones, there you go, problem solved. And if you normally use
your headphone jack to plug into your car, then fuck! Fuck! Fuck, you’re fucked. The you’re fucked and then I’m fucked. And then I’m fucked because you’re fucked. – [Jony] Our users expect
for us to introduce new, innovative, and exciting
features every year. To those user, we say,
you try introducing new, innovative, and exciting
features every year. I mean, what else do
you want a phone to do? Make you cum? – With the new iPhone, oh
this is the old iPhone. You know, they look exactly the same. Which would make you wonder,
“Why should I just get “an iPhone 6 since it is
cheaper and apparently now “better?” That’s because please. Please don’t. – [Jony] Along with the
worse iPhone we’re, like, out of our minds excited to
introduce a whole new line of Apple products made
with the same philosophy. The iPad Backs with is just
two iPad Backs stuck together. The iPod Brickle which can
only play Brickle and the Apple watch which we couldn’t
figure out a way to make worse than it already is. – If I’m being honest, I’m
starting to get really scared of Jony, he’s just taking
away things at random at this point. All the G keys on our
keyboards have disappeared. My car’s wheel disappeared,
I can’t get home. – [Jony] Just be grateful I
left you any ports at all. I wanted to make it an
impenetrable glass brick, but Tim said no. – Our design department
used to have 12 people, now there’s only eight. What happened to the other four? – [Jony] Careful, Tim. – I miss Steve. I miss Ste– – [Jony] Oopsie daisy, where did Tim go? The iPhone 7 Jony giveth
and Jony can taketh away. – Hi, it’s Mike Trep from College Humor. Click here to subscribe,
click here for more fun things and send help to keep me from sinking. Please, please help. Please help.


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