The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Got Busted Not Drinking Beer
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The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Got Busted Not Drinking Beer


– [Narrator] The fam serenades Michelle with Baby Beluga, woof. D.J. and Kimmy wisely
rush past that nightmare. They’re busy planning the school dance. They celebrate, booking a shitty band. Kimmy tells D.J. to invite Kevin to this dance they’re ruining but since D.J. is a coward,
Stephanie calls for her. Kevin says with no delay because he’s a horny 13 year old and D.J. has a pulse. Michelle can’t sop listening
to Baby Beluga, who cares? D.J.’s ready to dance in her finest crime-fighting attire. Kimmy breaks the news that
the band they booked bailed. D.J. begs Jesse to fill in, assuring him she can get a killer backup band on short notice. He agrees before her fashion
sense rubs off on him Enter Kevin, who shops at
the same ugly clothes store Kimmy and D.J. frequent. This dance sucks, there’s no music to dance to as Jesse has no band. D.J. beckons her stud but Kevin
is parched for some punch. His pal, with the scumbag
haircut says he’s tense, they know just the thing
to help him unwind. I think they’re going to
teach Kevin about jacking off. Here comes Jesse’s band. This dance is cursed. Jesse makes a big stink. His ego to talent and
success ratio is staggering, then his performance
clears the dance floor faster than taco farts. D.J., thank God, found a
stereo to play some music. Mind-blowing that wasn’t
the plan all along but where is Kevin? These visionaries recognize
that party tongued ass so they started a much better party, with beer, very cool. Kevin offers his lady a sip
but she’s no longer thirsty. She lambastes them and gets a
one way ticket to splash city. Killer party. Kevin defends her honor and
fetches some paper towels. D.J. tells them to scram, then
mocks them with their beer like it’ll teach them a lesson. – The dance is lame, now
we’re havin’ a party. – [Narrator] D.J., with a
no look behind the back, self snitch, while doing nothing wrong. She tries to explain herself
by snitching on those guys but Jesse doesn’t buy
it as she smells like Nick Nolte’s slippers. Time to go home. If he really wanted to punish her, he’d make her stay at that dance. Jesse rats on D.J., who once
again rats on the fellas and swears she’s not a liar. – You weren’t exactly honest about this marching backup band tonight? – [Narrator] What now, you lying liar? Danny’s sends her smelly ass upstairs. D.J. is pissed. She’s in trouble for a
crime she didn’t commit. That’s not supposed to happen
to white ladies in America. It sucks almost as bad as that dance. She cries like a baby, wah-wah, you know at times like
this, an ice cold brewskie might be the ticket. D.J. vows she will be vindicated. Meanwhile, the men try
to crack the case of why a teen would try a beer. Peer pressure, society, it’s fun and delicious? Maybe they were going fishing? Stephanie reports D.J. is innocent but she’s guilty of sneaking out just now to prove her innocence. Kimmy says the fellas got caught
sippin’ that hallway hooch. They’re suspended. – I hate to say it, but they deserve it. – [Narrator] D.J. certainly
did not hate to say that. D.J. demands Kevin restore
her reputation as boring then interrogates him about that beer. Kevin only did it to loosen up, something D.J. should really try sometime. – I’m really sorry. – I know you are. – [Narrator] Way to
accept that apology, Deej. Kevin tells Danny and Jesse
that D.J. was telling the truth. – I owe you a big apology. – You really hurt my feelings. – [Narrator] D.J. might need some apology acceptance training. Jesse only got so angry because he’s seen countless people ruin their
entire lives with one beer. He warns that soon
she’ll have to make more tough decisions about
drinking and drugs and sex. Hopefully this night will
be a learning experience to do the opposite next
time one of those radical opportunities arises. So what did we learn today? If you plan the worst
school dance of all time, don’t be surprised when
kids sneak off to get drunk and you might as well drink with them because you’re going to
get in trouble regardless but all you need to do
to get out of trouble is shift the blame on others
and cry like a baby, wah-wah. Then get your new
boyfriend to take the heat and when someone apologizes, use that moment to make them feel worse. See ya next time on a
very special episode.

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