• Articles

    Pound House 17 – Buckles

    (slow piano music) (gate creaking) (board motor purring) (glass breaking) (lively, upbeat music) (customers conversing) – [Doug] Brent. – Uh, hello, Sir. Welcome to Montgomery Ward. How can I help you today? – Brent, come on it’s me, Doug. Don’t you recognize me? – Um, I can check in the back if you want me to, but pretty much everything we got is on the shelf. – What? No, I’m not, I’m, I’m here to apologize. I’m sorry that I yelled at you and stuff. – Buckle say what? – Brent, the cute girl that lives next door to me thinks I’m a creep, and I need you to help…

  • Fake News Investigative Journalists
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    Fake News Investigative Journalists

    – Okay people, what have you got for me? – So I have been working on this story about how Harry Reid is a murdering satanist fascist rapist atheist. Is that too many things? – I don’t think that’s enough things. Chris, what have you got? – Donald Trump says, “What?” – It’s a good start, but what does he say? – I don’t know. – Alright, well figure it out by two and it had better not be true this time. – Oh, come on! Everything the guy says sounds fake. – That’s not my problem. Terry. – I’m working on a story on conflicts of interest in government.…

  • If Action Heroes Had Your Resume
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    If Action Heroes Had Your Resume

    (lighthearted music) – Before you say anything, the other guy started it. – I don’t want to hear it. What the hell is wrong with you, Max? Another bar fight? You’re better than this. God, in all my years of sector command I’ve never met a prospect like you. This is one hell of an impressive resume. Bachelor’s degree in English with a minor in film studies, a 2.92 GPA, proficiency in Microsoft Office. – I know what I can do. – And you’re throwing it all away, Max. America needs you. What if we need to do a mail merger, build our macros in Excel? – I guess you’ll…

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    Hi guys, it’s Tana Mongeau welcome back to my channel or welcome to my channel I hope you are having a wonderful day [today] today’s the storytime is the Craziest Scariest Fucking what the fuck story I’ve ever told here on this channel And it is a long one it is an incredibly long one it is a story that is going to take place over Months I have so many things to say it is so so fucking crazy And I had to wait to tell this story until I was safe Until I like could say everything and knew I wasn’t going to get in any trouble Until…

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    Jeff! Get…! Get down here! — What the hell is going on. — We’re 10 minutes in the past. 10 minutes from our target. — No! You need to tell me what that time machine is, and why that guy was trying to kill me. — It’s a time machine, it travels you back in time, and number two… — No, no… — … you killed his friend. — [stammers] No! — There’s no time to waste, just put this on. — Wha—? Why didn’t you just set it to 15 minutes back so we’d have 5 minutes to talk? — C’mon! ♪ [ominous noise] ♪ — Is that me?!…

  • Deadmau5 Tries to Be David Spade’s House Band – Lights Out with David Spade
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    Deadmau5 Tries to Be David Spade’s House Band – Lights Out with David Spade

    We’ve been shopping around -for a house band here. -KERRIGAN: So hot. Uh, for a while. Yeah, we still haven’t found one. Uh, for my latest interview, I went a little outside the box. Here’s a video. Oh. Uh-oh. All right, The Masked Singer’s on… Is that Stage 12? (laughter) (whispering): Who’s…? This is the guy? Hi. (clears throat) I’m, uh… David Spade, obviously. (laughs) You are… beep, bop, boop. It says, “Deadmaus.” Okay. (laughs, sniffles) By the way, this job doesn’t pay a ton. It’s not like a Vegas gig. It’s like a Reno gig, if you read between the lines there. I don’t know if you’re married, because…