• Party Bro Real Estate – Funny Drop
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    Party Bro Real Estate – Funny Drop

    I’m afradooshie bro I show house for party K bro, see? Crown molded walled house bro Ok, imported mesquite wood Imported, bro It’s not hanky panky lets go to hardware store bullshit And here you put wine, OK tequila, whisky, rum, gin I don’t know your decision For party coastal maple wood bro You smell party oozing from this guy bro *Sniffs* Oh makes me want to pump this guy bro Inside you put towel, shampoo, soap, paper towel, kilos of cocaine, molly sassafras, mushroom chocolate, ketamine I don’t know bro, your decision for party bro See and this vault city bro. K like church bro If you want to…

  • White House Publishes List of President Trump’s Accomplishments
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    White House Publishes List of President Trump’s Accomplishments

    -Let’s get to the news. According to CNN, President Trump told FEMA officials this weekend that he has never heard of a Category 5 hurricane before, despite Puerto Rico being hit with one in 2017. Said Trump, “Well, I’ve also never heard of Puerto Rico, So…” President Trump faced international criticism this weekend after he was seen playing golf instead of staying in the office to monitor the progress of Hurricane Dorian, though, honestly, would that be better? Making Trump monitor the hurricane would be like making your 4-year-old do the dishes. After about five minutes, you’d be like, “You know what, Tyler? Just go — go out and play.…

  • Younger Bloopers That Will Make You Cry (Season 1-5) 😂 TV Land
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    Younger Bloopers That Will Make You Cry (Season 1-5) 😂 TV Land

    This is a blooper reel opportunity right here. Hey guys, let’s fuck it up. – Are we rolling? – Yeah. Oh cool. Take one! [yelling] – Oh God. – And action! [groaning] Close by we’re… Absolutely. Sorry, let me say that again. Donald Trump wants to– Donald Trump? [laughing] Donald Trump wants to work for us in L.A. Shut up, stop judging me, Duff. Duff’s smiling at me, stop it! [laughing] – Fuck me… – Ok, I mean… well, yes. Yes a thousand times. [laughing] What? Oh no, no hands! [laughing] They’re like, “action!” and the lines are like… – We’re gonna act now? OK, cool. – I love acting.…

  • How You Really Use Exercise Machines
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    How You Really Use Exercise Machines

    – [Narrator] Strength. Power. No Flex provides you with a quick, easy workout that you can do in the convenience of your own home. But it also offers you something that you really want. Another place to toss your shit. With eight power rods, the No Flex gym holds 310 pounds of resistance that you’ll never use. Because after, like, one or two uses, you’ll realize you hate working out. But those rods also provide plenty of space for your wool sweaters to air dry. And the bench doubles as an ironing board. Or a step ladder. So you can change those light bulbs to better see your shitty apartment.…

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    THE BABIES ARE ON FIRE! | Hardly Working

    – Now, it’s a little smaller than it should be for my frame, but I think I’m really starting to catch some definition on my bicep. – Where is it? – It’s on my arm. – Hey, do you guys smell something? Oh my God! The office daycare is on fire again. – What are you waiting for? Help us! – We gotta do something! – Wait, wait, wait, wait, look. – The kids are saving themselves. – What? – Look, the little toddler in the blue overalls, he’s pulling that little girl out who’s trapped under a beam. – Yes! – This is so inspiring. – Okay, whatever, still…

  • Lex Luthor Meets Property Brothers | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim
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    Lex Luthor Meets Property Brothers | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim

    I’M JONATHAN PROPERTY. ME AND MY BROTHER, DREW PROPERTY, GET YOU THE PROPER PROPRIETARY PROMPTLY IF YOU GIVE US PROPER PROPS, PROPER! AND I’M DREW. ACTUALLY, OUR LAST NAME IS SCOTT. ♪♪ I WANT A CRAFTSMAN IN A GOOD SCHOOL DISTRICT. I’M LOOKING TO ACQUIRE LAND ON THE SAN ANDREAS FAULT THAT WILL BECOME BEACH-FRONT PROPERTY WHEN I LAUNCH MY INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILES, CREATING A MEGA-EARTHQUAKE THAT SINKS CALIFORNIA. THE SCHOOLS ARE ALSO IMPORTANT. IT IS A FIXER-UPPER, BUT THIS IS THE 3-BED, 2-BATH YOU’RE LOOKING FOR. OH, MY GOSH! I LOVE IT! I WAS HOPING FOR SOMETHING BIGGER, LIKE A CASTLE, MAYBE, WITH STATUES OF LIONS AND NAKED LADIES.…

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    Gingerbread House Disaster – Studio C

    [splashing] [audience cheering and applause] [bell ringing] – All right everyone, welcome to the annual Gingerbread House Contest! Today’s judge is going to be a safety inspector. Now let’s give a nice, Wisdom Lane Elementary School greeting to Safety Inspector, Tom Devlan! [cheering] – All right kids, hello. I am OSHA certified Safety Inspector, Tom Devlan, number one in Hoboken, Hackensack and Hard-Boiled Heights, New Jersey. What do I do? I save lives. Except for that one time I didn’t. [audience laughter] Let’s just say it was an incident involving my safety inspecting partner, Ted Higgins. [sighs] But I’m not supposed to talk about that. Unless you kids wanna talk…

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    Celia Pacquola 2 – 2016 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala

    Voice over: ‘It’s Celia Pacquola!’ Hello! A Rhinestone Cowboy died for those, hey! Love and hate is often complicated. Like, sometimes love can come from hate. Which sounds impossible, but it can. Like I love peanut butter. Because an ex of mine is allergic to nuts and every time I eat peanut butter I imagine him dying. And hate can bring good things. I know! How? Like this One day I was hating on a thing that led me to unlock a secret of the universe. Surely not? Yes. The thing I was hating on was toe rings. I think it’s ’cause I hate feet. I think feet are disgusting…