• A Tornado Outbreak in the Midwest & A Whitney Houston Hologram Tour | The Daily Show
    Articles,  Blog

    A Tornado Outbreak in the Midwest & A Whitney Houston Hologram Tour | The Daily Show

    We begin with news out of the Midwest. Recently, they have faced a record number of storms, and it looks like it’s only about to get worse. WOMAN: Breaking overnight. Get out. Emergency evacuations and dramatic rescues after heavy flooding hits the Midwest and the South. An entire region slammed by powerful tornadoes for a fifth straight day. Tens of millions in the danger zone once again. Since the tornado threat began here on Saturday, there have been 133 reported tornadoes, more than 30 just in the last 24 hours. Over 130 tornadoes in five days. That is terrifying. Oh, mostly because tornadoes are the worst natural disaster. Like, they’re…

  • Articles

    Trump Thinks He Bought America | The Daily Show

    Donald J. Trump has shaken Washington to its core by refusing to recognize the power of Congress to impeach him, which is amazing. ‘Cause they were like, “We’re subpoenaing.” And he was like, “No, I don’t care.” Donald Trump has the confidence of a white woman pulled over by the cops. Yeah. Just like, “Ma’am, I need to see your license.” She’s like, “Well, I need to see you get out of my face. And give me your badge number, Mister!” The question is, why does the president think he can get away with this? Well, for more perspective, we turn to a man who gets away with things all…

  • Deadmau5 Tries to Be David Spade’s House Band – Lights Out with David Spade
    Articles,  Blog

    Deadmau5 Tries to Be David Spade’s House Band – Lights Out with David Spade

    We’ve been shopping around -for a house band here. -KERRIGAN: So hot. Uh, for a while. Yeah, we still haven’t found one. Uh, for my latest interview, I went a little outside the box. Here’s a video. Oh. Uh-oh. All right, The Masked Singer’s on… Is that Stage 12? (laughter) (whispering): Who’s…? This is the guy? Hi. (clears throat) I’m, uh… David Spade, obviously. (laughs) You are… beep, bop, boop. It says, “Deadmaus.” Okay. (laughs, sniffles) By the way, this job doesn’t pay a ton. It’s not like a Vegas gig. It’s like a Reno gig, if you read between the lines there. I don’t know if you’re married, because…

  • Articles

    Andrew Yang – Bringing Bold and Unique Ideas to His 2020 White House Bid | The Daily Show

    Welcome to the show. Well, it’s great to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Can I… can I just say, of all the candidates I’ve seen on the trail, you seem to be having the most fun. Are you? Well, it’s a very low bar you’ve set, Trevor. (laughter) What does that even mean? You are. You’re, like, out there. You’ve got, like, cool music. You’re, like, rapping at, like, campaign events. It feels like Andrew Yang– you’re just, like… You’re having a good time whilst you’re putting out your policy proposals. The only place where you didn’t seem like you were having fun was at the…

  • The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Got Busted Not Drinking Beer
    Articles,  Blog

    The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Got Busted Not Drinking Beer

    – [Narrator] The fam serenades Michelle with Baby Beluga, woof. D.J. and Kimmy wisely rush past that nightmare. They’re busy planning the school dance. They celebrate, booking a shitty band. Kimmy tells D.J. to invite Kevin to this dance they’re ruining but since D.J. is a coward, Stephanie calls for her. Kevin says with no delay because he’s a horny 13 year old and D.J. has a pulse. Michelle can’t sop listening to Baby Beluga, who cares? D.J.’s ready to dance in her finest crime-fighting attire. Kimmy breaks the news that the band they booked bailed. D.J. begs Jesse to fill in, assuring him she can get a killer backup…

  • The ‘Full House’ When Aunt Becky’s Kids Cheated Their Way Into School
    Articles,  Blog

    The ‘Full House’ When Aunt Becky’s Kids Cheated Their Way Into School

    (bright music) – [Narrator] Aunt Becky arranged a play date for the twins and some bozo named Cooper. The kiddos stack while the moms talk sweaters. Cooper’s dad says it’s hard finding friends for Coop because he’s SO smart. Jesse tries to keep up with this tiny-brained brag sesh but while Nicky and Alex can barely mumble, Coop speaks in full sentences. – Cooper talked good. – Cooper talks well. – Cooper’s ready to smacked at an eighth grade level. Coop’s rents have been beating him with flashcards to get him into Bouton Hall, the Bay Area’s most prestigious preschool. Aunt Becky and Jesse have been less proactive with their…

  • Articles

    Billionaire Jeffrey Epstein Arrested for Trafficking Minors | The Daily Show

    I don’t know who’s writing real life now, but this story is insane. First of all, that this hedge fund billionaire got away with running an underage sex ring for years, and secondly, that he lived right across the road from Bill Cosby. Like, I don’t know who the neighborhood watch is, -but they’re doing a shitty job. -(laughter) Like, seriously, how do two major sex criminals buy houses across the road from ea… Like, what are the chances? Huh? Is there a filter on Zillow that I’m unaware of? Is there? It’s like, “Fireplace, secret sex dungeon… Oh, and doorman, doorman, definitely doorman. Like, I’m sorry, Bill Cosby and…

  • Nathan For You – The Ghost Realtor
    Articles,  Blog

    Nathan For You – The Ghost Realtor

    (drum beats) – [Nathan] Sue Stanford (slow guitar tune) is one of over six thousand licensed realtors in L.A. County. And in an over-saturated market, it can be hard to stand out from the crowd. – We’re continually trying to outdo the other (laughs) person you know trying to get business. – So I paid her a visit to help her become one of the most sought after realtors in the city. So, I always like to begin with some small talk to break the ice and make the other person comfortable. – Okay – Um, have you ever posed for a painting before? – No, not actually, have not…

  • Chaos Ensues During House Vote on Condemning Trump’s Racist Comment | The Daily Show
    Articles,  Blog

    Chaos Ensues During House Vote on Condemning Trump’s Racist Comment | The Daily Show

    Donald Trump sent out that infamous tweet telling four minority Democratic congresswomen to go back to where they came from. And most people have agreed the tweet was racist. Firstly, because three of the congresswomen were born in the U.S. And, secondly, because the phrase “go back to where you come from” is literally a racist cliché. Like, I hate it when people say that to me. Just the other day, someone was like, “Trevor, when are you going back to Africa?” And I was like, “Mom, I live in New York now, okay? We can just FaceTime.” Now, despite the backlash, Trump has doubled down on his racist tweets.…

  • President Obama’s Anger Translator at White House Correspondent’s Dinner
    Articles,  Blog

    President Obama’s Anger Translator at White House Correspondent’s Dinner

    I often joke about tensions between me and the press, but honestly, what they say doesn’t bother me. I understand we’ve got an adversarial system. I’m a mellow sort of guy. And that’s why I invited Luther, my anger translator, to join me here tonight. (Laughter and applause.) [LUTHER ENTERS] LUTHER: Hold on to your lily-white butts. (Laughter.) THE PRESIDENT: In our fast-changing world, traditions like the White House Correspondents’ Dinner are important. LUTHER: I mean, really, what is this dinner? (Laughter.) And why am I required to come to it? (Laughter.) Jeb Bush, do you really want to do this? (Laughter.) THE PRESIDENT: Because despite our differences, we count…