• Get the F@*! Out of My House Candle Commercial w/ Ryan Reynolds
    Articles,  Blog

    Get the [email protected]*! Out of My House Candle Commercial w/ Ryan Reynolds

    -It’s Christmas, a time when friends and family come together to celebrate the season. It’s been a great night, but it’s getting late and your guests just aren’t leaving. -And that’s when you realize mistletoe isn’t edible. -Oh! -Oh, that’s a good one, Jimbo! -You’ve given them all the hints, like commenting on the time… -Can you guys believe it’s 11:00 p.m. already? -I got nowhere to be. [ Laughter ] -…over-the-top yawning… -Ughhhhh. -I don’t know. -Ugh! Ughh!! -You’ve even tried standing up and announcing, “Well, I guess I should be going, since it’s so late. Wait, I live here. I’m not the one who should be leaving.” -Well,…

  • House of Representatives Impeaches President Trump
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    House of Representatives Impeaches President Trump

    -Well, you guys, it is just six more days until Christmas. That’s right. I saw one of the biggest-selling toys this year are L.O.L. Surprise! dolls. L.O.L. Surprise! is very popular, mostly because that’s what Nancy Pelosi said right before she impeached Trump. It’s like, “L.O.L.! Surprise!” That’s right — the big story is that President Trump was impeached last night. And the vote on the first article of impeachment was 230-197. Yeah, which was basically Trump’s blood pressure throughout the entire day. I saw that when last night’s vote was official, someone in Congress clapped. And Nancy Pelosi was not having it. Check out her expression when she heard…

  • The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Got Busted Not Drinking Beer
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    The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Got Busted Not Drinking Beer

    – [Narrator] The fam serenades Michelle with Baby Beluga, woof. D.J. and Kimmy wisely rush past that nightmare. They’re busy planning the school dance. They celebrate, booking a shitty band. Kimmy tells D.J. to invite Kevin to this dance they’re ruining but since D.J. is a coward, Stephanie calls for her. Kevin says with no delay because he’s a horny 13 year old and D.J. has a pulse. Michelle can’t sop listening to Baby Beluga, who cares? D.J.’s ready to dance in her finest crime-fighting attire. Kimmy breaks the news that the band they booked bailed. D.J. begs Jesse to fill in, assuring him she can get a killer backup…

  • How Dare You! w/ Michelle Dockery
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    How Dare You! w/ Michelle Dockery

    -Now, Michelle, on “Downton Abbey,” you play the extremely proper, unshakable Lady Mary Crawley, who speaks in a very dignified tone. -That’s right. -Ah, well. I wanted to try a game with you. I thought it would be fun if we took turns complaining about everyday, annoying things, but in the fanciest, most highbrow way possible. It is time for “How Dare You?” [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ How dare you ♪ ♪ How dare you, ah ♪ [ Laughter and applause ] [ Harpsichord music playing ] -Dearest Oreo Thins, I would like to address you for a brief moment, if I may. Now, I will admit that…

  • Articles

    Chris Rock Gives His Recap of Final Obama White House Party

    -Were you at the White House? Final party at the White House? -Yes! I was at the — Everybody was there. It was like — It was — Whoa. The last party at the White House… First of all, you’ve been to the White House? -Yes. -It’s amazing. -It’s unbelievable. -You walk in, you see these humongous portraits of the presidents everywhere you go, right? So I’m there, and it’s me and Ahmir is there and Jay Z, Beyoncé, Oprah, Stevie. It’s like I died and went to black heaven. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ] We were all — -E.T. -Yeah, it was un– There was a few white…

  • The ‘Full House’ When Aunt Becky’s Kids Cheated Their Way Into School
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    The ‘Full House’ When Aunt Becky’s Kids Cheated Their Way Into School

    (bright music) – [Narrator] Aunt Becky arranged a play date for the twins and some bozo named Cooper. The kiddos stack while the moms talk sweaters. Cooper’s dad says it’s hard finding friends for Coop because he’s SO smart. Jesse tries to keep up with this tiny-brained brag sesh but while Nicky and Alex can barely mumble, Coop speaks in full sentences. – Cooper talked good. – Cooper talks well. – Cooper’s ready to smacked at an eighth grade level. Coop’s rents have been beating him with flashcards to get him into Bouton Hall, the Bay Area’s most prestigious preschool. Aunt Becky and Jesse have been less proactive with their…

  • Fontaines D.C.: Boys in the Better Land
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    Fontaines D.C.: Boys in the Better Land

    -Performing “Boys in the Better Land,” from their debut album, “Dogrel,” give it up for Fontaines D.C. [ Cheers and applause ] [ “Boys in the Better Land” plays ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ You’re not alive until you start kicking ♪ ♪ When the room is spinning ♪ ♪ And the words ain’t sticking ♪ ♪♪ ♪ And the radio is all about a runaway model ♪ ♪ With a face like sin ♪ ♪ And a heart like a James Joyce novel ♪ ♪ Saying “Sister, sister, how I missed ya, missed ya ♪ ♪ Let’s go wrist to wrist ♪ ♪ And take the skin off of…

  • Tyler Childers: House Fire
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    Tyler Childers: House Fire

    -Making his TV debut, performing “House Fire” from his new album, “Country Squire,” please welcome Tyler Childers! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ You can set my house on fire, baby ♪ ♪ You can turn it into cinder and smoke ♪ ♪♪ ♪ ‘Cause this house is mighty cold ♪ ♪ And I feel like ♪ ♪ Meltin’ all the snow away ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ You see these boots I’m wearin’ ♪ ♪ They’re tough enough to go ♪ ♪♪ ♪ And they will take many a road to reach you ♪ ♪ Honey, won’t you light the way? ♪ ♪♪ ♪ You can…