Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Mob Cookies & Clean Butthole Land
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Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Mob Cookies & Clean Butthole Land


Barbara: Give us a little backstory about this photo.
Lindsay: Well, uh, one, it’s in Girl Scouts. Lindsay: As you can see, cuz’ we have the badges and people are in there. Sweet vest. Lindsay: So I was already the problem child. I actually got kicked out of my Girl Scout Troop.
*Mariel laughs* Ryan: Were you like running like a cookie racket or something?
*laughter* Lindsay: It’s definitely like mixed in with the bully tendencies too, they’re like- Lindsay: “You don’t belong here, like this place is for friendship and learning.
Barbara: Wow. Ryan: Were you rolling up on houses like-
*knocks thrice* Lindsay: Yo.
Ryan: “Hey, let’s have a chat.”
*laughter* Ryan: “I see you only bought a couple thin mints.”
Barbara: Smoking your cigarettes-
Mariel: Exactly. Lindsay: How much? How many you need? How many thin mints you want? Lindsay: You know you want some.
Ryan: I got- I got quotas to make, alright? Barbara: Listen, I’m not gonna let you shut this door, unless you buy five boxes from me right now.
*Mariel laughs* Ryan: It’s gonna get real unpleasant; that’s your car in the driveway?
*laughter intensifies* Ryan: Be a real shame if something happened to that.
*laughter continues* Lindsay: I got my baseball bat right here. Ryan: My girls are all ready, they’re all hopped up on the cookies.
*giggles and laughs* Lindsay: God. I-I wish I had that like, mentality or even like that intelligence, but no. I wasn’t gonna really do it.
Ryan: You wish you were a mob boss. Lindsay: Yeah! Hell yeah, as a kid? It’d be awesome.
Ryan: Alright. Mica: The way to summarize Japan, my dad said it really, really well- Mica: -is that Japan is a whole country of people that not only give one fuck, Mica: But they give multiple fucks every day. They give all the fucks-
Barbara: They give all the fucks. Mica: Like the taxi drivers, wear white gloves and their cars are incredibly clean, Mica: First of all, the doors open for you. Mica: And-
Chris: And the curtains, and the doors- Mica: And everything’s automatic!
Mariel: And the bed vibrates! Mica: Also the- every bathroom, even in train stations, Disneyland, all public bathrooms-
Barbara: That’s what I want in a hotel. Mica: -are Toto-heated toilet seats with bidets? That self-clean, and if you’re a nurse here- Barbara: That’s why it’s such a good, nice country. It’s because everyone’s buttholes are CLEAAAAAN-
Mica: Yes. Mica: That’s what it is! And if you-
Mariel: Keep your assholes clean, nothing bad happens! Mica: If you’re a nervous pee-er or a ner- or don’t want to like, be loud pooping in public, Mica: Uh, every public bathroom has bird and waterfall noises. Mariel: Oh my god.
Mica: To mask your peeing.
Barbara: Mmm. Mariel: Holy shit, dude.
Barbara: But you’d know what’s going on. Mica: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT LIKE YOU-
Chris: That’s not a bird in there- Chris: That bird does not make that noise.
Mica: No!

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