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Richard Osman’s House of Games – S03E29 (14 Nov 2019)


Hello, there. What a week
we are having on House of Games. Four contestants playing all week,
and it is super, super close. Two more days to go. Tomorrow,
someone’s getting their hands on this trophy.
Who is it going to be, though? Our players this week are… ..Jay Blades. Thank you. All right? Rachel Parris. Shaun Keaveny. And Jan Ravens. Welcome, welcome, everybody. Jan Ravens, you won
yesterday’s show. I know. I know. I’m only
just calming down, actually. I would say, A, congratulations.
Thank you very much. And, B, that you took home
the worst prize in the history of game shows. Even on this show,
you picked a bad prize. Well, Richard, I’m afraid that
I have to agree with you. Listen, you’re not..you’re
not upsetting me. No. You’re the one who chose a pair
of House of Games bookends. Darling, I didn’t need a prize.
I told you, I didn’t need a prize. You made me pick one. And it ended in disappointment
for all of us. Shaun? Yeah? You got a couple of lovely prizes,
didn’t you, the fondue set
and the gardening gloves. The gardening gloves were very
high quality. Weren’t they? This is a guy who can pick a prize.
I know. Yeah, yeah! Shall we take a look at
the weekly leaderboard, Shaun,
cos it is getting exciting… Yeah. ..as we move towards Friday. Two days to go, and look
at the top of the leaderboard. Jan has eight, Rachel has nine.
Shaun has ten. So you’re a little bit out in
the lead. Can you hang on to that? I don’t know.
I said right at the beginning, I’ll say it again,
that I am a man who peaks too soon. Don’t take that the wrong way.
And this is… I’m just I’m trying to reverse that. Yeah. I’m trying to keep some
consistency. I hear you. Rachel? Yes. Three second places in a row.
Always the bridesmaid, Richard. Always the bridesmaid.
But some people don’t even get invited to the wedding,
don’t forget. That’s true. People forget that some people
are never invited to be bridesmaids. There are people who are not
bridesmaids, going, “You are
lucky to be a bridesmaid”. Shall we take a look at the prizes
for today, though? Yeah. I call Thursdays the most
disappointing day for prizes on House of Games,
I’ll be honest with you. There’s a stick of rock.
There’s an action doll. There’s a towel.
There’s a shoehorn. And there are a pair of
House of Games binoculars. If you were forced to take one home?
I think I’d take the binoculars, because they have a use. Yes.
I think – you know what? I agree with you. I would go
for prizes that have a use. And I think that’s perfect. Jay,
been fourth three times. Yes. OK. Yeah. See what we can do, though. I
like it down there. It’s all right. I think it’s good. You’re
playing in the right spirit. The game is the winner,
where you’re concerned. I’m just…I’m just here
participating. And, as I said,
I’ve got a brilliant view. I’m not competitive, so it’s cool.
I don’t mind losing. Shall we play? Yes. Yeah.
Shall we get onto round one? Yeah. Yeah.
The first game today is… Round one is Mouse of Games. Now you see what we’ve done there,
we’ve changed the name of House of Games by one letter,
and that’s exactly what we’ve done in this round as well. I’m going
to give you the synopsis of a film. OK. That film will be a real film, but one where we change
one letter of the title. It’s got a weird new synopsis.
OK. Jay, here is your first one. What is this ’90s film?
We changed one letter of the title. Erm… Is it grinding? Well, tell me the film you think
we’re getting it, that we’ve changed
a letter of. Yeah. Is it Four weddings
and a Funeral? This is why you’re having trouble,
I think, because it isn’t. Oh, is it not? It is not.
Oh, it’s Notting Hill, sorry. Sorry, my bad, my bad.
So imagine we’ve changed one letter
of the title, Notting Hill. So it’s not Notting Hill.
It’s not Notting Hill. Grinding corn…
But one letter has changed. To make sense of grinding…
I’ll tell you what, you’re going to have to buzz me out,
cos I haven’t got a clue. So fingers on buzzers everyone else.
we’re going to help Jay out. Jan’s in this one. The second you hear the noise,
you can buzz in. BUZZER SOUNDS That is Shaun, gets in quickest. Notting Mill? Notting Mill is the correct answer.
Well done. AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Rachel? Yes. Here is yours.
What is this film? We changed one word of the title. Light Club. Is it Light Club? Yeah. It is. Changed the F in Fight
Club, Fight Club becomes Light Club. AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Shaun, ’90s film here.
We changed the title by one letter. It’s got Adam Sandler in it,
hasn’t it? I can see him. Yeah. He’s like
a karaoke-type singer, isn’t he? But what is it called? And… And he’s a gardener. This is awful. Shall we time you out, Shaun? Yeah.
OK. I think only Rachel knows it.
Rachel? The Weeding Singer. Oh, come on! The Weeding Singer
is the right answer APPLAUSE He’s, like, a karaoke singer-type,
he’s a… Oh… Jan. Yes? What is the film? Oh, OK. Shakespeare in Hove! Come on! Shakespeare in Hove is
the right answer. APPLAUSE That’s very good.
That’s very good, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s very pleasing.
Jay, we are back with you. I get it now. This time they are all
British sitcoms, is your category. Only Fools and Horses, but
hold on, what is it…? Yeah. I really want you to get this. So do I, want to get this one
as well. Can you think of anyone
who does a hootenanny? Like, at new year? Oh, I’m so rubbish… I’m so rubbish at this! This is unbelievable.
This is the hardest one. Time me out. Oh, Keaveny’s done it again. Shaun? It’s Only Jools and Horses,
isn’t it? APPLAUSE Rachel, here’s your British sitcom. Was it one who went, “Seven!”? What was his name? I mean, that would help you out
a lot here. Wait, I’m just going through
the alphabet, going…what rhymes. Oh, yes! Len Behaving Badly. APPLAUSE
Well done. Men Behaving Badly
becomes Len Behaving Badly. Shaun. Yeah.
Here’s your sitcom. I know what the programme is. OK… Or do I? Or am I getting them mixed up? Uh… What do you think the sitcom is…? I think it’s The Thick Of It. OK. Shall we time you out? I’m so annoyed. Yeah. BUZZER Jan gets in there before Rachel In The Chick Of It. APPLAUSE Jan, what is this, please? JAN CHUCKLES Is it The IT Crows? It is! APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH Shall we take a little look
at the scores? No. Round one done for Thursday’s
House of Games, and here’s how is we are. Jay, yet to get off the mark.
Shaun, you have two. We have joint leaders – Rachel
and Jan have three points each. APPLAUSE Moving right along. Let’s play Round Two. We’ve played this before,
haven’t we? Oh, this is going
to go very badly now. Last time we played this,
it was awful. Now, the person in last place
gets to choose their partner. OK. Jay, you’ve cunningly put
yourself in that position a lot. Yeah, I have.
Just so you can choose. Now, you and Rachel were
sensationally good at this… Yeah. ..on Monday.
At the beginning of the week. Listen, you can change,
if you want. I’m going to stick.
I’m sticking. Yes! That’s nice. Jay and Rachel. Shaun and Jan. Listen, chance for
a little bit of revenge. Yeah. Tablets out, everybody. Now, don’t forget,
in Distinctly Average, I’ll ask you a question,
you both write down an answer and we’ll take
the average of your answers. Whichever pair is closest
wins the point. And let’s see what
your first question is. Crikey… Jay, how many £50 notes
are there in circulation? I believe there is one million.
One million. Rachel, what have you said? Why are
you laughing, Rachel? I’ve got… Well, I don’t know. I’ve gone 90 million. Every time last time, your answers
were so wildly divergent from each other, but your average
was actually OK. Yeah. So your average there
is 45.5 million. What if you’d gone with Shaun? All right. Well, I’m in Rachel’s
camp a little bit. I’ve gone 30 million cos I figure
there’s 60 million people in the country. Yeah.
You know? So, 30 million, says Shaun Jan, what have you gone for? One million. Your average, Shaun and Jan,
is 15,500,000. What do you think at home? Let’s find out how many
£50 notes were in circulation in the UK in 2018.
Who has won the point? Whoa! What the…?! Should have gone a bit more, Janny! 330 million?! Mine was low! That’s worth £16.5 billion worth
of £50 notes. That’s a point to Jay and Rachel
there, as always in this round. Well done. 270-odd million out and you still
got the point. Still winners. Beautiful. All you’ve got to do is be better
than the other team. Yeah. At the end of the day.
Here’s your next question. This is a tricky one, isn’t it?
Mm. Yeah. Everyone happy with their answers? You know what I mean by happy. Yes. Everyone got an answer? Yeah. Rachel, how many coffee beans
are there in an espresso? I’ve gone with 40. 40. Jay, have you gone up or down
from that? I’ve gone down… ..to 15. 15. 15. OK. So 27.5 is your average
coffee beans. Shaun, are you higher than that?
You lower than that? Higher. Yes, considerably higher. Have you gone higher?
What have you gone for? I’ve gone for 150. Jan, what do you think
of your partner’s answer? I’m going to take
that average right down, Richard. 25. OK. That’s 87.5 as your average. So 27.5 plays 87.5. What are you thinking at home? It’s interesting this one, isn’t it?
Yeah, it is. Yeah. So, according to the British Coffee
Association, how many coffee beans
are used to make a single espresso? And who is going to win the point? Not again! They’ve done it again!
APPLAUSE I’m so sorry. It’s always me! Paying particular attention to
Rachel’s answer there of 40, which is almost exactly bang on. Absolutely remarkable. Here’s the last question
in this round. This is what we’re looking
for an answer for. Come on, Shaun. Come on. This is us. I think I know this. Oh, hello! So it’ll definitely be me
messing it up now. Yeah. Hmm… Hmm… We are locked in. I’ll tell you what, we’ll start with
Jan, shall we? Jan, what have you said?
How high is Mount Snowdon in feet? Oh. Oooh… 3,650 feet. OK. Shaun, up or down? Down a bit. 3,105. That is very close
to each other, isn’t it? And a lovely drawing there as well.
Thank you. That’s nice. Let’s take a look your average. 3,377.5 ft. say Shaun and Jan. Rachel, what have you said? I’ve gone 9,000. 9,000 ft, says Rachel. Jay, up or down? I’ve gone down. 3,500. 3,500. Very in sync with these guys. Ah…!
Yeah, three really similar ones. If it’s somewhere higher than that, then Rachel has dragged you up
a little bit. Let’s take a look at your average. It is 6,250. Let us take a look. To the nearest foot, how high above
sea level is the summit of Mount Snowdon? And who has won the point? Yay!
APPLAUSE Very well played, Jan and Shaun.
A point to you. Well, you know, we got one there.
You know, we got one. Tablets away, everybody. We’ll see what that’s done
to the scores. Rachel has been second
three times this week. She’s currently our leader! APPLAUSE Can you keep that going? Are going to have our third
different winner of the week? Let’s find out as
we play Round Three. Today, that is… Now, in this round, I will read
all the questions backwards and you must give me the answers
backwards. So if I asked your name,
you’d say Blades Jay. OK. OK? Luck good. BUZZER
Shaun. No Dr? Answer correct!
APPLAUSE Dr No becomes No Dr. BUZZER
Keaveny Shaun. Pigs of Bay. Well played! Bay of Pigs,
Pigs of Bay. APPLAUSE
Wow, very good. Question next. Song this of title the is what? ROCK SONG PLAYS BACKWARDS BUZZER
Keaveney Shaun. Out Me Take? Out Me Take, by Ferdinand Franz? Correct. Well played.
APPLAUSE Shall we listen to it
the right way round? MUSIC: Take Me Out
by Franz Ferdinand That’s impressive.
That’s very impressive. SHAUN IMITATES GUITARS And it was only the intro! That was
amazing. That was very good. That’s a DJ who’s played records
the wrong way round before Yeah, done it the wrong speed,
the wrong way round. Question next. BUZZER
Parris Rachel. Bridge Gate Golden. Played well! APPLAUSE
Golden Gate Bridge. Question next. BUZZER
Yes, that is Shaun. Son and Steptoe. He’s good at this round.
Well played. Steptoe and Son, Son and Steptoe.
APPLAUSE Question next. BUZZER
Ravens Jan. I and King…The. I and King The is the right answer.
Well done. APPLAUSE That was the last question
in that round. Shall we take a look at the scores?
How did you do on that round? Well, I hope. Oh… Oh, Shaun! Shaun has gone into the lead
with seven points! APPLAUSE Two rounds to go. What’s Round Four going to be today? Let’s find out when I press
this buzzer. It is… You’ve done a little bit of homework
for this round, have you not, before the show? What I’m going to do
is ask you each question. There’ll be four possible answers.
OK? One will be the correct answer, the other three have been written
by your opponents to try and fool you. If you give me the correct answer,
you get a point. If you choose your opponent’s
answer, you give them a point. OK? Jay, here is your question. OK. Can you spot the real answer? Was it…? CHUCKLING These are good answers. Yeah. I’m going to go for
the Isle of Mull. You are not right. What was the correct answer?
Don’t tell me Stonehenge. Stonehenge. What?! That’s what
I was going to for first of all! First instinct. You’ve given a point to somebody.
Who wrote the Isle of Mull? That was me.
Shaun Keaveney gets a point. Amazing. Well played.
Well done, Shaun. Sorry, that was cheeky. Who wrote “prison cell”? That was Rachel. And a solid gold water closet? It had Jan Ravens
written all over it. Very well done. Rachel. Yes. Here is your question.
Thank you. That’s a question
I’ve never considered before. No. Four answers coming up. Was it…? CHUCKLING OK… I mean,
that’s an interesting question. Everyone laughed at ET, but, you know, he’s about
the right age to have… ..that caught his imagination. And it is a really lovely
two moments in the film where they go off…
Oh, beautiful moments. ..cycling. Oh, the lovely velodrome moments. I don’t know… I don’t know
the first two films very well. I’m going to fo ET. Is ET the correct answer? It is the correct answer! Well done! APPLAUSE Not only do you get a point, but you make sure no-one else gets
one as well. Around the World In 80 Days –
who was that? Jan! Just missed out on
a point there. Who was The Deer Hunter? Me. Is there cycling in
The Deer Hunter? Absolutely none. But why wouldn’t you be inspired
by it? You’re quite right. And Footloose from Jay as well. Yeah. Sounds convincing too. It does. To me. Shaun, it is your turn now.
Here’s your question. There are four possible answers. This is quite hard. Oh, my God.
I love tempura as well. Those are good answers, everyone. That is now very difficult. I’m feeling that it’s the…
I don’t… It’s embarrassing to say
this on national television, but I haven’t boshed through
the entire back catalogue of Charles Dickens. Have you not? Shame. For shame. I agree. It’s disgusting to sit here
and say that. So I’m a little bit on… I’m on
thin ice, anyway. So, simply because I think
that because of my ignorance of it, the last one seems least familiar
to me, cos I can sort of place
the other ones. I’m going to say Tempora Meliora. Is that the correct answer? Is that the name of that land snail? I knew it was wrong. It is not done
afraid, what is the answer? Ba humbugi. Ba humbugi. That’s bizarre! That is bizarre. So who have you just given
a point to? Not Jan Ravens. APPLAUSE That’s such a clever answer.
That’s very… That’s very clever. That is clever,
that deserves a point. Who said Twist? I did. Jay. Erm… Worstimius? That was Rachel Parris. Jan, it’s now your turn. Right. Fresh from that point. Get me back. OK? What is unusual about the LP? One of these answers is correct. The other three were written
by your opponents. So I feel like it’s going to be either he recorded it all in one day or it was only issued a sheet music, which I kind of like as a concept. But I’m going to say he recorded
it all in one day. Let’s find out. Is that the correct answer? INCORRECT ANSWER BUZZER It is not, I’m afraid. What is the correct answer? It was only issued as sheet music.
Awh! You nearly went for that. It’s called Song Reader,
only issued as sheet music. Wow. So who fooled you? Who said he recorded it
all in one day? Rachel Parris did. Oh! APPLAUSE I would bet my year’s wages that Shaun wrote it was released
on gummi-bear vinyl. There we go and Jay’s was the first
one, 14 tracks, not 12. Yeah. So, a point there right at the end
for Rachel. Well played. That is the end of Round Four. Mm.
Wow. One round to go on Thursday’s House Of Games,
let’s take a look at the scores. Oh, my… Oooh. Jay, you have two. It is very, very close
at the top. Jan with six, Rachel and Shaun
with eight points each. OK. Here we go, then. Final round of Thursday’s House Of
Games. It is, as always…. Jan, you won yesterday.
Shaun won the first two days. Rachel, you’ve been second every day
so far, but you’ve been in the lead
coming into this round a couple of times and jointly now
with Shaun. We know Shaun is good
at this round. A point if you get a correct answer, a point off if you give me an
incorrect answer. Here’s your first category
and it is… You’ll see pictures of actors.
There’ll be clues underneath. Good luck, everyone. Yes, Shaun. Leonardo DiCaprio Janeiro? I can’t quite take it, I’m afraid.
You missed a little bit out. Forgive me. Yes, Jan? Leonardo DiCaprio de
Janeiro. Is the right answer. It is. You missed out a “de”. Did I? Did I say DiCaprio Janeiro? Rio Janeiro, you said. Rio Janeiro.
What an idiot. Here’s your next one. That is Rachel. John Hammersmith and City. Is it John Hammersmith and City? Well-played. John Hamm,
Hammersmith and City. Next actor. Jan? Is it Drew Barrymore More,
More? Is it Drew Barrymore, More, More?
How do you like it? It is Drew Barrymore, More, More.
Well-played. That’s a satisfying one,
isn’t it? Yeah. Next category. THEY LAUGH Finally, Jay. About time. Here we go. About time. Sit back, everyone.
Yeah, here we go. Three pieces of lab equipment. There’ll be a clue
underneath each one. Smash the answers together, please. Shaun? Bunsen Bernhard Langher? No, it’s not. Not South African. Ruined myself. I was thinking Ernie Els, but Bunsen
Burnie Els doesn’t make any sense So I’m lost. Shall we have a little look? Yeah. Oh, you were right. Oh, Bunsen… Burnernie Els. Oh. Bunsen Burnernie Els. Bunsen
Burnernie Els. Bunsen Burnernie Els. That is pretty hard to say.
Yeah. Here’s your next piece of lab
equipment and your next clue. Yes, Rachel? Microscopen Sesame. Is it Microscopen Sesame? Certainly is. Microscope, open sesame.
Microscopen Sesame. The next piece of lab equipment. Yes, Jan? Test tuber? Is it test tuber? Of course it is. Test tube and
tuber. Well-played. Here’s your next category? Those’ll be the pictures,
there’ll be a clue underneath. Yes, that is Shaun. Walruss Abbot? Is it Walruss Abbot? Yes, it is.
Walrus and Russ Abbot. Well played. Here’s your next marine mammal. HOOTER SOUNDS Ohhh! You won it again, Shaun. There will be no more marine
mammals for you today, I’m afraid. No more marine mammals for anybody, because we’ve reached the end
of Thursday’s House of Games. Who has won? Shaun… No. You won Monday and Tuesday? No. Jan, you won on Wednesday. Rachel. Three second places. Who has won Thursday’s
House of Games? Let’s take a look. Rachel Parris has won… What?! ..Thursday’s House Of Games.
By one point. So, Rachel, you get to
choose a prize on the most disappointing prize day.
Yes! Well, I did say I’d say binoculars,
but I do have some binoculars. So, I’m going to have the shoehorn.
You’re going to go shoehorn? It’s pink and it’s nice. Lovely. Shall we take a little look?
We’ve got one day to go. It’s Double Points Friday, so it’s
eight points for a win tomorrow, then six, four, two. OK? OK. But shall we see where we stand
going into that last day? Yeah, going forward.
I think it’s pretty close. Ooooh. Wow, it couldn’t be much
closer. Oh, my God. Jan, you have 11.
Shaun, you have 12. Rachel, you have 13. Great. So, listen, it’s been an
absolutely brilliant week. We’ve got one more day of it to go. We’re going to find out which of
these four, three, is going to be our champion. I will see you all here
same time, same place for the final of this week’s
House of Games. And we’ll see you here as well. Thanks for watching. This is a pleasing thing.

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