Is Everyone Using Me For My Costco Membership?
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Is Everyone Using Me For My Costco Membership?

(smooth jazz music) (people chatting) – Well, that’s the last of it. – Oh, thanks, Katie.
– Thank you, Katie. – You’re the best.
– That’s great. – Oh, Katie. I’m having people
over to my house this weekend and I would love it if you would come. Please, please, please. – Yeah, I don’t have any
plans for the weekend. I’d love to. – Great. Oh, and, before you
come let’s hit a Costco. I want to get one of those 40-pound hams. – 40 pound.
– Oh yeah, Costco. – Costco, Costco.
– Costco run. – 40-Pound ham, 40-pound ham. – Hey, do you guys actually like me? – (group) What? Yeah. – Okay, I know this sounds crazy but sometimes it feels
like you just use me for my Costo membership. – What? Katie, that is crazy. We love hanging out with
you and eating free samples. – And going to town on some bulk hummus. – Or eating cafeteria chicken bake. – Everything you’ve just
mentioned happens at a Costco. God, is that the only reason we hang out? – No. I’m sorry you feel that way, Costco, or Katie? Katie. – Katie, yeah. – Look, how ’bout after work
we go to a park like old times? – We’ve never done that. – Oh hey, Grant, just
hypothetically, theoretically, which exact park was it
that you were thinking of? – Well, I was thinking
the one by the strip mall. – Oh. – The strip mall with the Costco? – Why yes it is. – Wouldn’t it be like dumb and ironic if we went to the Costco after the park? – Oh my God. That is so dumb and ironic. – No. – Fine, if you don’t
want to go to the park, we can go see a movie. – Really? You just want to hang out and see a movie? – Yes, in fact I’d like
to see eight movies. They sell those bulk passes at Costco. – Costco, how bout that?
– Yeah, Costco. – No, you can’t just
use me for bulk goods. – Fine. If we can’t go to Costco, do you guys want to check
out the Big Easy Bar? – Oh, yeah. – Yes, that sounds like so much more fun, and I’ve never been there. – Oh no, I was talking to them. The core five. You understand. – (group) Core Five! – Core Five! See, I can do it too, okay? There’s no reason that it just has to be, just add a six. – Besides Katie, how
would you even get there? Our cars only have five seats. – I could drive myself. – See, now you’re dealing with
logistics and it’s ruined. – Fucking God damn it. – Katie, calm down. Have something to drink. Here’s 60 beers. – Or a ton of chocolate milk. – Or a gallon of cold medicine. – Or an entire wheel of brie. – Or a school of shrimp. – No. No, no, no! I’m not your little Costco bitch, okay? I’m as cool as all you motherfuckers and I deserve an invite! I’m fun as hell! Okay? – Katie, you’re sweating. Here. (Katie screams) – No, Katie, no! No! – [Man] She’s crazy. She’s crazy. Trip her up, trip her up. – Katie, God damn it!
– Trip her up, trip her up. (heart monitor beeps) – This is why we don’t invite you places. (melancholy music) – Alright, let’s go to Sam’s Club. – Oh man.
– Sam’s Club. – [Woman] Hasn’t Katie done this before? – [Man] Yeah, I feel like she’s died. (Katie exhales) (heart monitor beeping) – Hi, it’s Katie Marovitch
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