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Mark: YAHHAHAHA Mark: Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to the Gingerbread House building challenge. Where we’re gonna be building Gingerbread houses! Oh, man, my voice is still not 100%… SO you may be guessing what *SMACK* THAT is, *BANG* And you’re gonna find out- *BANG* – at the end of the video! Santa’s coming. Ethan: Ho ho. Mark: Fuck. Ethan: Ho ho ho. Mark: Alright so anyways welcome to the gingerbread house building challenge. We’re gonna each take a turn to build a gingerbread house in a certain amount of time. How much time do we have? 5 minutes? Ethan: Yeah.
Tyler: That’s fair. Mark: 5 minutes sound fair? Okay we have five minutes to build the best gingerbrouse house we can… Hooooo were those words??? Alright we have-we have gin- Tyler: [burps] Ethan: [giggles] Mark: We have gingerbread pieces of house. We have icing. We have gummy-
Ethan: Sprinkles Mark: gummy leaves. We have holly berries. We have gummy… lights for house? We have red cherries for house. We have candy for house, And we have squeeze. For squeeze. Tyler: Are we going to paper rock scissors for who goes first? Mark: I say we SQUEEZE. Ethan: Gingerbread may contain traces of PEANUT, TREENUT MILK AND EGG! Ethan: I CANNOT EAT THIS HOUSE BUT GODDAMMIT I CAN BUILD HOUSE! Mark: He can build house! He no eat though. He go starve for Christmas, but he not be sad, he be happy. Ethan: I can be happy because I be not dead! Mark: You’ll be dead from starvation, but not from allergy. Ethan: [giggles]
Ethan: Not from allergy, that is correct. Mark: You not be allergy. Ethan: Who has biggest squeeze? Mark: [makes odd sound] Ethan: Wow, that is nice squeeze.
Mark: Eeuohoo. Ethan: [drawn-out scream] Ethan: Put it on nose for nice effect. Mark: I am Rudolph the semen covered reindeer. Tyler: Ok! Who go first? Ethan: I go first!
Mark: Oh! Mark: We rock pape scis? Ethan: No! We pick squeeze. Whoever gets the squeeze first. Mark: Alright, blindfold. Close your eyes, you too. Mark: Oh!
Ethan: [giggles] Mark: [yells] Mark: Oh that’s a squeeze! Ethan: Oh thats a biggest squeeze I ever done felt! [Mark starts screaming. Ethan joins.] Mark: [soft groan] Ethan: I think I have biggest squeeze.
Tyler: Was it one squeeze? I didn’t… Tyler: I didn’t fully…
Mark: you have small squeeze. Mark: I have small squeeze. Mark: You have nice squeeze, you go first, I go second you go third.
Ethan: Ok I go first, I have nice squeeze Mark: Why are we going first second third? We’re building at the same time. Ethan: Oh. I go first at the same time. [licking noises] Mark: Mmm, still bad. Mark: Okay so we’re not going yet, we’re just assembling everything. So, if all of you at home I know you’re just tingling with anticipation at what we’re gonna craft here but Ethan: Don’t let him go, hold ’em. Mark: Did I hit record?
Ethan: Take him by the- fuck Mark: Who’s got timer?
Ethan: [heavy sigh] We can just count. Ethan: We’ll just do it til’ we finish, right? We’ll just-
Mark: No! Mark: We’re gonna do it in 3 minutes! Ethan: I think five is a good.. Mark: THREE! Tyler: FIVE!
Ethan: Well, do we get only three to assemble and then three to decorate? Mark: NO! THREE!! Ethan: oh, ok…. Mark: Signal the beginning of the challenge! Three, two, one! [Flame thrower sound] All: [screaming] Mark: [singing] How in the fuck are we gonna do this I don’t fuckin’ know. Mark: Maybe the- maybe three minutes was a bit of a- bit of an eager anticipation but we’re up to the challenge! Ethan: [creepy accent] Yeah we’re up to the challenge. My name is Challenge McGee and I’m here to challenge you to a FUCK OFF. Mark: Ethan, why??? Mark: Minute thirty we’re at the half way point we’re doing great guys. Tyler: Wait, what? Mark: We’re at the half way point. Ethan: We’re at the half way point Tyler, you better be-be ready. Oh no, NO!!!! Mark: [taunt singing] You guys suuck I am the besttt. Look at me I’m really great. My dick is really big. Ethan: Alright, alright, not doing too bad. Mark: [accent] Alright not that bad, not-a-bad. Ethan: [accent] That’s not the baddest pussy I’ve seen Mark: [accent] I’ve seen a bad pussy riding the town on a Harley Davidson Mark: [accent] oooo that was scary day. Ethan: NO my bag broke!! Mark [normal]: Frobo. [laughs]
Ethan [accent]: Frobo, my sack broke! Ethan: Oh no it’s too much come! No, it’s too much! Mark: [laughs] It’s not what I want!
Mark: [continues to laugh] Mark: And time! Mark and Ethan: [giggling] Mark: Keep going. And that’s it, that’s it everybody, everybody hands off! All: [laughing] Mark: Okay, alright so that’s stage one. Oh, my.. my-my chimney no! Mark: Hey ho hey ho hep…
Ethan: Hey we said time! *Motorboat noises* Mark: [panting]
Ethan: Can I fix mine? [chuckles] Ethan: Let me give it to you a BIG sack. Tyler: [laughing]
Mark: [groans] Ethan: [giggles] Tyler: [laughing] Oh my God… [Tyler and Ethan laughing] Ethan: [laughing] E-e-eew! Mark- It just felt like you shit in my mouth [bursts into laughter]
Tyler: [laughing] Mark: that’s all it felt like. Ethan: [laughs]That is so gross! Mark: Alright.
Ethan: Can I fix my house am I allowed to? Tyler: No, you have to start stage two like that. Mark: Yep, stage two [laughs] starts like that. You’re right, that is a good way to- good rule. Mark: Good rule! Ethan: Nope. Mark: He didn’t accept my prank, my hilarious jest!
Tyler: Go get a towel- there’s a Ethan: …prank. Please. Ethan: No! Mark! Mark: You did this to yourself! Ethan: It’s been – in your MOUTH! Mark: Don’t mind me everybody, everybody stahp! Stop GIF-ing this! Huh- Oh no! Heh [licking noises] That was stage one. That was the funnest stage! Did you have a good time? If you did, smmmASH that like button! Ethan: CAN WE HIT ONE BILLION LIKES?! [SMASH] Ethan: [giggles] Mark: You have to build that!
Tyler: [laughing] Why? Mark: What have you done? What have you done!? Ethan: [bursting into giggles] This is the start of stage two; I have to live with- Mark: CAN WE GET TEN TRILLION LIKES?! [SMASH] Mark: RIGHT NOW?!? [Gingerbread house falls] [Tyler and Ethan laughing] Mark:
FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! Ethan: CAN WE GET 115 MILLION LIKES?!? [screeching] Mark: So since we have… hereby fucked these houses that we were going to USE in the second part of the video where we were THEN gonna destroy them, Ethan: Yeah I kinda fucked it up didn’t I?
Tyler: Yeah! Tyler: Not only that, Tyler [shouting]: WHAT THE FUCK!
Ethan: It was gonna happen anyways– Mark: No it wasn’t gonna happen! Ethan: Pfffft Tyler: We had cloths we were gonna put down for the second part! Mark: Yeah! Ethan: Now I have to eat it all and then die because I’m allergic to these. Mark: You need to be punished. you need to be punished, get the dodge balls. You fucked up! Get up against the wall all the way up, all the way up,
[Ethan protesting] all the way up against the wall.
Tyler: Hands. Hands against! Spread legs! Ethan: Ouch, ouch ow! Ow, ow fuck!
Mark: Eheheheheh Ethan: I don’t enjoy the bat, I don’t enjoy the- AHahaowww!
[Ethan screams, Tyler and Mark laugh] Mark: Do you regret coming out here?
Ethan: Yes! Mark: Do you regret it?
Ethan: Uh-huh!
Mark: Say you don’t. Ethan: I don’t-
Mark: You love it here!
Ethan: I love it here! Tyler: Mark…
Mark: Yes? Ethan: Ow! [louder high pitched scream] AHHOhohoooH! Ethan: That one breezed me. [Mark laughing] Ethan: Ow! Ethan: Ow! Ow!
[quietly, laughing] right in my face. [Mark laughing. Tyler joins] Mark: Alright, you- you feel punished? Ethan: Yes! [shouts] Stop! Mark: You’re a bad boy! You’re a naughty elf! Ethan: I’m sorry. Mark: Santa does not-
Tyler: Start picking that up- Mark: Santa does not appreciate-
Tyler: throwing it in the garbage.
Ethan: I’m – Ethan: I’m sorry.
Mark: – your bullshit! Mark: Alright, alright wait, in the spirit of Christmas, it’s now 2 v 1 so, wait what hold on, hold on. In the spirit of Christmas- of togetherness- it’s now us versus you.
Ethan: Mm-hmm! Tyler: I’m- I think that’s perfectly fair- Ethan: Okay Mark: Out of the… shambles.. of our destroyed family home. We have to build again, rebuild- because
Ethan: Rebuild. that’s what Christmas is about, and we are gonna build a prettier house than you could ever imagine!
Ethan: Yeah! Tyler: To be honest what Christmas is about-is about giving what you can. Mark: No! Christmas is about being better-than you-at decorating!
Ethan and Mark: Than you! Than you! [laughter] Tyler: Just me?!
Ethan: You specifically! Mark: And it’s gonna take the two of us to be better than you!
Ethan: Uh huh that’s right. Mark: ‘Cause you’re taller,
Ethan: And we’re gonna do it. you’re handsomer,
Tyler: take that… Mark: you’re smarter, Ethan: better in every way- Mark: you’re more dedicated.. You’re better. Ethan: You’re better at building houses!
Mark: You’re better at building houses!! You’re better at keeping your house from being destroyed, by a freak mi-accident I don’t know what- Ethan: You’re better at editing than I am how dare you! Mark: You’re better at break dancing! Ethan: You’re better at having red hair! Mark: You’re better at having a HUGE dick! Ethan: You’re better at having a SMALL dick! [Mark and Ethan laugh] Mark: -Both, it’s very weird. Tyler: I can’t tell whether I should be insulted or complimented right now! Mark: You’re better at having huge nips , you’re better at- Ethan: Right now you should be better at being afraid, because we’re about to destroy your house..! Mark: Yeah! And we’re about to beat up your better dad’s puss! Ethan: Yeah! Tyler: Set the timer to… three minutes? No, five this time.
Ethan: Five.
Tyler: Five minutes! Mark: We got three minutes! Ethan: Ready? Tyler: Five minutes.
Ethan: Five minutes. Mark: Three minutes!! We got three minutes! We’re gonna assemble this, decorate it, pa pa pa pa. Ethan: Ready? Set? [makes horn sound] Go! Mark: What are we going for here? Do we have a strategy? Ethan: Nope Nope, it’s the Markiplier way. Mark: No! That is not the Markiplier way! Ethan: It is absolutely the Markiplier way Mark: The Markiplier way is to do well and- Why is this leaking out the side?? Ethan: I know I told you that before! Mark: Alright you know what I’m gonna create a pool to dip in, it’ll be easier to dip the parts and stick ’em together than it will be to squeeze em on. This’ll be the base, this’ll be the front door, it’s kind of assembled in some way I got glue, blam? Ethan: Good.
Mark: Done- Ethan: Oh- Mark: Love it. Ethan: -doneso! Ethan: We’ll have the back right there oh yeah, so now make the connecting wall.
Mark: Okay. You got it. You know how when you’re playing the Sims and you just start placing walls randomly in the house cause you’re too tired to actually think about it? . Ethan: Yeah Mark: That would look better than this. Not one of those stack! Ethan: uh huh, oh oh oh [sexual moaning] Mark: Nice, ok good,
Ethan: That looks good, that looks really really good, [more sexual moaning] Ethan: Okay, now we have to strategically place these. Mark: Yeah, we gotta use, we’re gonna beat him by sheer volume alone. Ethan: Yes Ethan: [laughing] Ah, oh no our home!
Mark: Ah- Mark: keep it together don’t let it fall, it’s-it’s powered by our love. Ethan: It is Mark: And there’s not a lot left of that. Ethan: mm Remember team purple. [laughs] Mark: Team purple, Crankiplier away! Ethan: [laughing] Crankiplier away!
Mark: [laughing] Mark: [singing] ooh ee ooh ah ah ching chang wallawallabingbang
Ethan: Our- our house will be held together by Tumblr GIFs. Mark: Tumblr GIFs? Ethan: Mm-hm.
Mark:Then we- we know what to do. [laughs] This is not what I thought you were gonna do. Ethan: [laughing] What were we doing? Mark: I thought you were going to start sucking my dick..! [starts giggling] Ethan: Oh yeah! Mark: Tyler did you make any progress? Ethan: I think we have a clear winner. Mark: I think there’s a distinct winner here. I think 100% we are fully aware and fully erect. The house- [quietly] the house is erect. Ethan: See Tyler, like we were talking about, the foundation of this house, it’s built on love and it’s built on trust. Mark: Yeah, love and trust. Ethan: What’s uh, what’s your foundation made out of? Looks like some shitty cardboard to me. Mark: No, no no, no, no. Explain. Ethan: Tyler, the time is up. Mark [quietly] Tyler, your time is up. Ethan: You can’t continue decorating after the time is done.
[Mark licking sounds] Mark: Tyler the time is done. Ethan: Tyler on your SAT’s did you continue test-taking uh, once they said hey time’s up pencils down? Tyler when you were playing water polo, or when-when the referee went “hoot hoot” on his whistle did you continue throwing that ball around? Tyler: Of course. Mark: Tyler when you, as a sperm hit the egg did you keep burrowing in til you went out the other side? No, you stopped. Ethan: You stopped.
Mark: You stopped. You won that race. Okay, alright now we’re done.
Tyler: Anyway…
Mark: Yeah, Tyler: My design of the house was snow drift. Mark: ooh, ooh. Ethan: ok. Tyler: Judges! Mark: Bring in the judges! Tyler: We have three categories of judging. First glance, structural integrity, and last one is… explanation. Mark: Sure, okay, so this is ours… We worked really hard to craft it. The theme is snow drift. Ethan: yeah Ethan: Ours being me and Mark. Mark: We worked on it together. Ethan: We’re a-we’re a team. Mark: You can tell by our color being blue.
Ethan: mm-hm Amy: You got a little schmutz on your nose.
Mark: I know, I did that for a playful… gaff.
Ethan: Just- just good fun Mark: And uh that’s Tyler’s. Tyler: I fucked it. Amy: Like… Tyler: No!
All: [laughter] Mark: No! You can’t take back a joke! Ethan: That’s a- Tyler: No! it’s a perfect explanation Tyler,
Mark [imitating Tyler]: No! Ethan: I know exactly what happened there Mark: I can see very clearly! Yes, that is exactly how that went down. Yep! Mmm…Yep he fucked it! [laughter] Mark: I have a horrible truth to reveal to you. You’re gonna never look at us the same again.
Ethan: yeah. Amy: Oh… Mark: this was ours… Ethan: WE fucked it All: [laughter] Mark: First glance. Ethan: Yeah what are your first glance? Mark: First glance. Ethan: Out of, out of 10. Amy: Okay, I think if I was gonna eat one of them I’d go for this cause it’s smashed into like edible pieces and there’s like a dip like a chip dip Ethan: That’s exactly what we were talking about
Mark: Yeah that’s what we were talking about… On edibility which is the 4th category I’m adding into this, Tyler: Ok. Mark: Edibility… we win. I think structural integrity is a clear winner here. Ethan: Ye-ah.
Kathryn: I mean… Mark: I’m pretty sure… this one aint going nowhere. Ethan: This one can survive an earthquake. Kathryn: It… already has…
Amy: yeah Mark: uh-huh, and it’s stronger for it, what doesn’t kill you
Ethan: Yeah, makes you stronger
Mark: That’s it that’s the slogan Mark: So, alright, alright yeah we know this explanation so well we’re gonna say it one word at a time. Ethan: Yeah, so. Mark
Mark: And
Ethan: I
[continue switching between them] went, to, the, extreme, length to, ensure, that, this, house, was- [Amy and Kathryn laugh] made… made, better, than, his. Yes… So, we, looked, at, the, best, method to, build a, gingerbread, house, with, love. Amy: aw that is yeah I like that, Mark: because! Kathryn: Oh no…
Amy: [laughing] Thought it was over… [continues to switch every word]: our, love, is, stronger, than, his, foundation. Mark: Alright yeah your explanation. Do it one word at a time. [Kathryn, Amy, Ethan laugh] [Mark laughs] Tyler- Mine was I was rushed, [clears throat] because there was a snow drift and a giant earthquake that happened. Amy: Yeah. Tyler: Which destroyed the structural integrity, and then there were monsters from the trash heap that came over and wrecked it. Mark: Well that doesn’t explain how it’s good.
Ethan: Yeah. Mark: That’s just an excuse!
Ethan: Yeah, excuses don’t pass here. Tyler: But! Now it is a piece of abstract art.
Amy: I see a lot of un-used decorations… Ethan: Hmm… I mean ours was art from the beginning yours is art now?
Amy: His was performance art. Kathryn: Oh performance art…
Tyler: There you go. Mark: Oh, yeah-that! that thing! That, yeah that!
Tyler: Yeah, it’s performing for you. Mark: Alright final call final call. Ethan: Final call Mark: We’ll-we’ll rebuild that but final call. Kathryn: Yeah, yeah, I think we’re going with that one. Amy: I think- yeah Ethan: So this one is the decision. Our love is stronger than Tyler’s house; it’s the final word from the judges. Amy: Happy birthday! [laughs] Ethan: Now on to stage three. [“Santa Claus is Coming to Town” instrumental playing] [song starts slowing down, gradually grows distorted] [Dramatic music playing] Mark: Alright! so that was Santa’s Coming to Town the 3rd day of the 12 days of Christmas, hope you enjoyed that one, I’m feeling a little bit better, and hopefully by tomorrow I’ll be 100% better, so thank you everybody so much for watching…. Mark: Try it again… *party popper pops* Mark: Ah! My ear… and as always, we will see you, in the next video! Buh-Bye!
[Party poppers going off] Ethan: Bye!


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