De-Spouse My House
Articles,  Blog

De-Spouse My House

– My daughter beautiful and she’s – Why did you pause? – Because I’m think a different way. She cute. – Pause. Hello Hunnay. So, I recently was divorced
and the one thing I hear from people who have heard me
talk about my divorce is “Why she always talking about him?” “Why she always going backwards?” Listen, I was married for 14 years. I was dating for four of
those years, married for ten of those years. That’s a huge part of who I
am today so, when I talk about it, it’s really describing
what I’m doing moving forward. Not necessarily about him. It has nothing to do with him,
I’m not throwing any shade that way because I wish him the very best. Does that make sense? Comment below, because I know you will. (Music) When I signed the divorce
papers, this is a true story. I walked out of my attorneys office, I took a deep breath, and I
threw up all over the floor. I had to run to the bathroom
and get a bunch of paper towels and like mop up all my crap because it was just so emotional. Memories, um eh tacky things
like finances, it was just, it was really bad. Even though it hurt, and it
was kind of like that last jab of like uh, I walked out of
there and I was like okay, this is good, I’m going to be alright. Got in my car and drove home. As soon as I walked in the
doors of this house right here, the house that I bought myself
with my hard earned money, I just looked at it and
said this is not my home. This is a part of my past. In that year and a half of
getting through the divorce, I changed and grew and forced
myself to shed that shell so much that when I walked
in this house, BOOM, I felt like I was right
back in my marriage. A lot of things in this house
remind me of that time in my life like this couch. We talked about divorce
on this very couch. Um, these floors, we picked, you know this, this carpeting together. Um, a lot of the things that
are hanging up are things that we bought together. So, It’s not to say that it’s
a negative thing, it’s just a part of my past that I’ve moved from. There’s this one quote
I heard a while back; ‘When a flower has failed to
bloom, do you blame the flower? Or do you blame it’s environment?” Do you change the soil? Do you water it more? Maybe it needs more sun or light. Comment below it that’s
something that you can relate to when it comes to maybe a past
relationship that you’re just getting out of like myself. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one
and the house reminds you of that, that old place. Or maybe you, yourself, are
growing or need to grow out of a stage that you’ve been stuck in. I don’t know if you’ve got
stuffed animals on your bed or maybe you’ve got pictures of NSYNC. No shade to NSYNC, but like,
come on now, you know what I mean like, what is going on
in your house that is not helping you thrive or elevate
yourself to the next level. So, that’s where I’m at. Let me know where you’re at
because then I can help you more, and I love pictures. If you have any pictures of
crazy things in your house, don’t hold back friend. I’m going to be checking them out. There’s a lot of things I gotta
do, but before we go big we gotta start small. This house is still a part
of me but I just need to freshen it up to bring new life into it. New life. (clapping) I just want a new energy. That’s what I’m most excited about. What do I call it? It’s not a makeover. What would I call this? I’m going to call it, spouse cleaning. It’s going to be me going
through my house picking out things that either need to
go or have a right to stay. I’m going to need your help on this. Tell me is it treasure? Or is it trash hunnay. I’m going to show you some
things, you’re going to keep it 100 and we’re going to
get through this together. Okay. My acrylics are ready. Let’s do this. Let’s start with these. These are coasters obviously. These are my ex’s, um, he
got them in South Africa. I don’t know much more beyond that. I think they look kind of
(mumble) they actually, um don’t do a great job because
they leave scratches on the table. – That’s from Africa. – Yeah, they’re from Africa mom. – And handmade, something like that. – Well they’re actually not
from Africa because the tag says they’re from China. – Keep that. That’s a zebra, that’s a horse. You will run all the
time, you’re never home. That represent you. – Okay, so Mama Mai thinks
June the Chinese horoscope, I was born on the year of the
horse, she wants to keep this. She never throws anything away. She even saves my eyelashes
when I throw them away. She’s that woman who hoards. I don’t want to do that. I think we should trash this. Mama Mai thinks we should treasure it. What do you think? Vote below. I say trash these. – Look cute. Anyway. – If it look cute, you take it for you. Next. This, um, it’s a clock. It has not had a working
battery since 2014. It doesn’t have the correct
time, I’m always late, so this isn’t helping, and it’s
made out of plastic. It’s really cheap. It doesn’t do anything. It just takes up space on
the wall and he picked it. So, I personally think we can
move this on to maybe like a nice family portrait, something
with a beautiful gold frame. Maybe, a gold clock that
actually works if anything. Something more meaningful and me. – Put in library. – What? – Put it in the library. – What library do you think we have? – We will make up something
library, don’t worry, that’s look good. – Vote. Trash or treasure? – Just change the battery. – Mom. (Elk imitation) I’m trying to make a
sound that elk make, okay. – That’s a goat. – That’s not a goat mom that was an elk. Um, okay so these are antlers,
these are real antlers. Now, listen up, I actually
really love taxidermy. I, I love the look of it, it’s
rustic, it’s a little dark. These are my ex’s. I like them. I actually would paint these
gold and keep them, but then I wonder, my friends are
like “don’t keep anything. You’re supposed to move on. You’re supposed to cleanse.” It’s not that I want everything
gone of his, like if its dope and it’s stylish, I’m like
yo, I, I, I’m down with it. What do you think mom? – Save it. So vote. Would you trash these or
would you treasure these? I think I could redesign
them and repurpose them. – You could scratch your body too. – You could use it as a back scratcher. – Yeah. – You’re a genius. – When you take a shower. When you get mad at him, think about him, you scratch harder. (laughing) – Pretend she didn’t say that. (laughing) Okay, who here knows what a tchotchke is? This is a tchotchke. Something that has no
purpose in the house. In this case, makes a
lot of freaking noise. We bought it at a flea market. I’m fresh, saucy, and slamming. Like, this is not me. I don’t think I should keep this. – Keep that. That’s antique, pilot, I like that. – It’s not antique mom, for
all we know this could have been made in China and just
put in the farmers market. – Whatever, I take that. – Trash or treasure? There’s no point to this. Why? – Or you can put it outside for the wind. – There’s no wind that’s
going to move this. No, we’re going to trash this. I’m not even asking you for your vote. This is, bye, gone. – Whatever. – Oh my GOD. I have a lot of great
friends, who gift me things. I’ve learned that you don’t
always have to keep the things your friends gift. I don’t smoke cigars. These teeth are trying
to stay nice and white. This is not cute in any scenario. It’s not. I, there’s nothing, no,
I don’t want this, so. – You can put the earring
and necklace, everything. You can use it. – Mom, you can also put your
necklace in like a nice jar. Like a, like something pretty. This is not nice, this is tacky mom. – That’s because you don’t like it. – Do you like it? – I do like it. – You’re lying. You never looked at this before today. – You can put the candle over there. Put the candle inside, you can burn. – I, mom, there’s a lot things
we’re going to burn here on this table, we’re
going to start tonight. This is going to be one of them. Trash. – You’re not perfect anyway. What do you think about your
fake hair, whatever extensions. Everywhere you put it. Look at, look at your wig. See? – Because I shoot a lot, I, – You lose my appetite. – Mom. – Anytime I starting eating,
you take if off, you take it off, you put everywhere. – Okay, so I wear extensions
because I don’t like to damagee my hair. So when I come home from work,
the clips hurt so bad and they give me headaches that
I take them off an I put them around the house that doesn’t
mean that you have to get into it.
– You look like a horse. (laughing) – Horse hair. – Mom, I’m busy and I work
a lot, and I need a place to organize myself. So, yes, she’s right. I do need a nice area
to set aside things like my extensions. – Change everything for you. You know what I mean? – No, I don’t understand
what you’re saying. – Okay, you tried to make
up everything look nice, you know do like this
one, okay everything good, but even you. You have to change yourself too. – Yes, I do. So, I agree with you there. Another thing I really
want to get rid of mom? – Get rid of me, I get rid of you. – No. – What the hell you talking about? – I don’t want to get
rid of you, not just yet. But, I do want to get rid of this couch. This couch, bothers me so
much because it’s so heavy. I’m a bright, colorful, person. I’m not an old brown couch. Honestly, when I was
married, I bought things that reflected more of what he would like. I’m a more California girl,
he moved here to be with me. I thought, cover the place
with rustic things, and woodsy things, and masculine colors, and that’s not who I am. This couch has to go. You agreed. – I agreed to put the cover. Buy the cover, put it on, save it. – Mama Mai thinks we should
keep the couch and put a cover on it. I think we should get rid of
the couch all-together and put a whole new shape, maybe two love seats that are facing each other. What do you think? – Oh my goodness. That’s a ugly one I never seen. Where you put it in the corner? – So, this. – Who gave you this one? – This, my sweet friend
gave me this Christmas tree. Oh my GOD it stinks. My job was to water it once a
week in order to keep it alive and (laughing) – Throw it away, keep the bowl. – What? – Keep the bowl we can
use for the present. This, this my present. We can give to somebody else. – We’re not, mom, we’re
not keeping anything. (laughing) – That’s a nice bowl. – Mom, don’t save anything,
that’s disgusting. As I’m trying to tell my mom
to get rid of things, to not hoard, I’m noticing that my
mom is wearing the socks that she got for free from the airport when we last went to Saudi. We went on Emirates first
class to Saudi Arabia and she’s wearing the socks from the airplane. Like, this is who we’re not
listening to so, don’t take advice from her when she
says to treasure things. – That’s why you save money. – Now the whole point of
spouse cleaning is to just refresh, rejuvenate, start new. Right? And, I want to make room for
my new life and also things that are important to me,
things that I’ve gotten over the past few years. Like, my Emmy that I won
with the girls of The Real. – I help you to hold it. – Thank you mom. Um, and also things like
awards that I’ve gotten for my work within human trafficking
and just different things that I’ve done in the community. These are things that I have
scattered around the house and not to say that this is not um, important it’s just that I don’t a place for it. So, part of spouse cleaning
is finding a place for the things that mean a lot to me. Like my mom. – Put on fireplace. – Huh? – Put this one on the
fireplace. It’s nice decoration. I decoration for you, don’t worry. – You’re not decorating for me. Let me know what colors come
to mind when it comes to redecorating and also, if
you’re going through the same thing please upload pictures. Don’t make me feel like this by myself. – I’ll be honest, I’m so
happy as soon when she holding this one, I cry already because
it’s not easy to get the thing like this. Put on Facebook and show all
my friends, um, people say congratulations Mama Mai, your daughter, your daughter (mumbles) I’m so happy. – You were mom? – I do, I’m very proud of you.
– Thank you mom, really. – Yes, I am. – That means a lot. – Thank you so much. – Ever since I got the Emmy,
she uses me everywhere she goes in order to get discounts. – I’m so proud about when
they show her Instagram. My daughter beautiful and she’s – Why did you pause? – Because I’m think a different way. She’s cute and a very
smart girl, that’s how I’m very proud of her. That’s all. (laughing) Whatever – I have a lot of work to do. You seen some of the things
that I have to get rid of. I can’t wait to hear what
you think of things that I’ve already pointed out. Right mom? – Yeah, give us more comments
so we can take her, go to Ross and shop more. Okay? – One of the stores I’ll shop at, yes. Thank you so much, don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes. – Thank you, goodbye. – Bye (upbeat music)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *