Dress sense, is that big for you? Yeah, just as long as
it looks nice… Yeah, man, I am gassed! This is Amber, and I’m going
to help her find some love. So, talk to me, like,
when was your last relationship? Why are you on the show? Well, my last relationship,
he cheated on me. Oh, wow. Welcome to the club. Thanks. It’s not even a cool club
to be in, I can’t lie! Have you been cheated on before? Yeah. Cut a long story short,
I just got to my girl’s house, as I was going up the stairs,
I heard sexual noises, opened the door… ..and yeah, my girl’s
getting whacked out! I laugh now, but at the time…
What did you do? I just… I just stood there and cried,
still, then ran out. Did you know the boy? Shit, yes. It’s not funny. And then I ran, yeah? All the way from Catford
to Bromley, like, I jogged. Just cos I was crying
all the way home. Like, I don’t know if you know
that distance… I don’t know the distance.
..but from Catford to Bromley, we’re talking, that’s a 30 minute
run, at the age of 16 years old. SOBBING IN THE BACKGROUND HE LAUGHS On this phone right here, we have four images that represent
four different men. OK. Based on these pictures,
you need to get rid of one and the last three,
we will be going into their rooms and investigating everything. OK? OK. So, this is
picture number one. That’s all I was worried about.
HE LAUGHS We’ve got some barbering equipment, a razor, we’ve got some clippers. A boy that I used to see,
he owned a barber shop and he was a fucking prick. So…
SHE LAUGHS ..I’ve a bit of a bad…
Imagine this is the same one. Did you ever go in his room,
by any chance? Yeah, I… If this is the same guy
that she used to chat to, then this is going to be mad. All right, we need to give this one
a nickname here. What are we going to give him
a nickname? Mr what? Snippy. Mr Snippy. We’ve got, er, my adopted monkey. Oh, OK. So, I’m guessing he pays
monthly or some sort to adopt a monkey. Monkeys rip people’s faces off. HE LAUGHS Have you not seen it?
I’ve seen documentaries about it. What, you can’t see no positive
in this picture? I don’t like it. THEY LAUGH She’s going to be hard to please,
you know. Mr… Underwhelmed. Underwhelmed. I like this one.
Oh, my God, this has gone left. It shows that he’s good craic. Also, there’s Echo Falls there
and I love Echo Falls. THEY LAUGH So what are we calling him?
Mr Craic. Mr Craic…
HE LAUGHS Last but not least, we’ve got…
Is that a whiteboard? I like that one, yeah. You would
go clubbing up there in Belfast. Plus, I used to have a boxer,
so yeah. What are we calling him? Mr Festival? Mr Festival. All right, cool. So, who are you going
to get rid of and why, Amber? Oh, I feel so bad. Right. Shit. I think, after looking
at all the pictures again, I think Mr Underwhelmed is out. Mr Underwhelmed is gone. We are down to three. Let’s get snooping! Come, let’s go, Amber. So, here we are. Give me your hands. So, please take off the blindfold in three, two, one. LAUGHING: Why are you
having that face? Give me a word to describe… ..the room. It’s, like, cluttery. It feels like everything’s
pushed together… Good word. ..it’s giving me anxiety. Like, there’s a plate here,
it’s dirty. SHE GASPS
Ah… So whose room is it?
Mr Festival. Mr Festival. I just feel like this wardrobe
tells me he’s a fun person. Look how many, like, concerts
he’s been to as well. Bill Burr, he would be one
of my favourite comedians, as well as Frankie Boyle, and even The Human League,
absolutely love them. Let’s go through here. His boxers? Oh, bro, you’ve got
to throw them away, though, man. Hold on. Whoa, like, that’s been washed over
at least 10,000 times, brother. Dress sense, is that big for you? Yeah, just as long as
it looks nice… Oh, my days! Wow! You’ve seen it, innit, babes?
I seen that. So what do we do now? I’ve never seen these in person,
you know. Wow. There’s dust on it. It’s dirty, man. Ain’t you meant to put this
in hot water? I know… Boil that, man. Shit. Yeah. Yeah, let’s put that…
Why am I still holding it? You lot must be
sitting there thinking… You didn’t even say nothing. Wait, is that Jesus up there? Please don’t offend me. Pornhub. Pornhub. Do you watch porn? HE CLEARS HIS THROAT Oh, I’ve just touched it. Man’s got two pairs
of panties, babes. What if they’re his? No, that’s not his. Nah, that can’t be his. OK. Come through here. Please take off the blindfold in three, two, one. This is so nice. Yeah. There’s the clue, it’s Mr Snippy. HE IMITATES AMBER’S ACCENT:
Oh, Mr Snippy. HE LAUGHS
I love the way she says it. It’s Mr Snippy, it is indeed. I reckon we should start
with the one thing that is important to you… Shoes. ..crep check. Yeah? These are nice. They’re really nice. They’re really nice,
I really like those. He’s got the little
Balenci socks as well. Yo, I like this guy, you know,
he’s got style. WHISPERING: Oh, my God.
SHE LAUGHS What is that? A therapeutic… Cos I’m…
..gel eye mask. Nah, man, I rate him. LAUGHTER What you laughing at me for?
Both of you, what’s wrong with me? He drives, look!
“You passed, hooray, yippee!” Aye, it might be exam results.
No, no, no, it’s definitely a car. You don’t really… Is it important for you
to have a babes that drives? Yeah. It’s important? I wouldn’t go with someone
that didn’t drive. Now, watch this.
Watch this, now, yeah? Do you drive? SHE LAUGHS
No. Oh, my… I’ll come out this room now. You see what gal are like? Oh! So you see? Oh, I can’t. No.
HE LAUGHS No! She seen the Range keys
and she went mad. Oh, my days. What… You like…
Look, biting lips, everything, nah. So you’re happy, yeah? It’s a
nice car. It’s a nice car. THEY LAUGH Look at the smile on her face. Mm… There’s a little jar covered
in hearts that says, “With love.” Can it… Does it open? You read one little letter,
I read one little letter. “Happy second Valentine’s,
best friend. “31/10/16.” Should he still have this…? Wait. SHE LAUGHS
Wait… No, no, no, no, wait, are you
telling me you know this guy? No, no, I don’t. Oh, thank God. This is from two years ago. Yeah. Why would you keep that? OK, Amber, if you’d like
to follow me. Please, take off the blindfold in three, two, one. SHE GASPS
I have that bed sheet. No, you don’t.
SHE LAUGHS OK, so, what do we think so far? First impressions. It smells nice,
and it looks very clean. Look how a man’s living and you want
to tell me about clean, Amber. Nah, you said clean.
AMBER LAUGHS I didn’t see that. Let’s start over here. I feel like this is our clue,
in terms of who this is. I think it’s Mr Craic. Mr Craic. See what you got in here, mate. Blind date now. Like, “All right, Amber?
Nice to meet you.” Is this nice? HE LAUGHS You know when someone tries
to be polite? She went… HE LAUGHS
You’re so funny. Aye, but this is all,
like, protein stuff. So he obviously goes to the gym. Like that. Fat loss. Oh, so he… Like, he really… I think
he’s very into his fitness. Yeah, and he puts his weight here,
and then puts what he’s drunk. Week three, how much he weighed
on week four. He wouldn’t have any time for me. What’s in here? Like, look at the boots. The amount of juice that has been
spilt on those boots. That is mad. Come on, let’s go,
let’s go, let’s go. No, no. Eww… It smells… We’re getting ill in here. I’m going to get ill. I’m going to get ill in here. Come and look at man’s tea towel. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. SHE LAUGHS
Take a look in there. Oh, no! That’s blue mould. That is fucking stinking. So, what, if I’ve got a soup
and I want to serve up my soup, I’ve got to try
and wash that before I use it? Ah! SHE WRETCHES What sort of guy
do you think this is, Amber? Just a dirty… Someone that… Like, he can care about the gym
all he wants but… ..when you live like this,
this is absolute filth. Sit on the sofa, guys. No. You’re taking the piss, man. Go on, get on the sofa. Nah, man,
stop telling man what to do, bruv. I’m not sitting on the sofa.
Go and sit… Man said, “Go and sit on the sofa.” Look at the stain!
He must be… He can tell… You can’t tell man what to do, bro. Fuck off. Amber, you sit on it,
take one for the team. I’m not fucking sitting on that.
Just take one for the team. No, I’m not sitting on it.
You sit on it. No, I’m not… I can’t… I’ve got that thing
anyway, with my hamstrings, where if I bend them too much, it…
The thing happens. AMBER WRETCHES No. Can we go? I need to leave this place right…
Yeah, man, my body feels funny, like, my body’s just moving. I don’t even know…
And this ain’t even dancing, like, you know when there’s, like…
I feel like there’s stuff on me. Chemicals… ..little bacterias, I’m out of here. It’s time for Amber to make a…?
Decision. Yes. Who is it going to be? Are you going to get rid
of Mr Snippy… ..Mr Craic… ..or Mr Festival? I think I know.
Quick, man, cos it’s cold. I can’t… It’s freezing out here. I’m going to get rid of… ..Mr Festival. Mr Festival. You are go-o-o-one! Are you ready to see what
Mr Festival looks like? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Please, may I have the phone,
so I can show this rejection video? OK, you ready? Hi, my name’s Matt, um, I’m sorry
you didn’t like my room. But if your date ends up being shit
craic, you know where I live. What’s he said?
Check craic? What’s all that about? He said, “If your date’s shit craic,
you know where I live.” What? He’s… He’s sad that I didn’t pick him but, if my date is shit crack,
then that means that I know where he lives, so I can
come to his house after. “If D is shit craic?”
What… I don’t… If the date’s shit craic.
If it’s not good. Oh, but you’ve got to remember,
I told you, you’ve got to break stuff down
for me. OK, so, how are you feeling?
Do you find him attractive? Or are you happy with
your decision still? I’m happy with
my decision still. Wow. Is he not… What’s wrong with him? He is not my type at all. I like his,
like, confidence, though. His confidence is good but,
no, he’s not my type. Mr Festival, you are gone. We’re going to meet some friends. Let’s go. You excited? Yeah.
HE LAUGHS I love this bit, this is where
it gets tense. Now, Amber has prepared
some questions to ask Mr Craic’s potential friends, cousins, sister –
we don’t know who we’re meeting yet. All I know is that, Amber,
you need to make sure you have certified questions. Do you have those certified
questions? Yes. I’m excited. I’m going to chew their arse out, because I need to get to the
bottom… Huh? You eat arse? Going to chew his arse out. No…
SHE LAUGHS What do you mean? I’m going to
rip him to shreds. Mr Craic’s friends, can you please
make your way into the room? Yes. Go on, take a seat here,
please, brother, take a seat. How’s it going? Come on, I’ve got the chair. Aw, it’s not that bad. We’re actually clean,
just the house isn’t. This is mad, bro. Ah, classic student house, like. “Classic student house.” No, no,
no, not a classic student house. I’ve been in a lot
of student houses, and… Yous are disgusting, and this
needs cleaned, instantly. This is fucking disgusting. What the fuck are these?
LAUGHTER No! Them trainers are dead! They’re not even… Was he in The Hatfield
with these or what? Probably, like…
Why would he still have… Why are these not in the bin?
Those shoes are too shit. That’s my question –
why are these not in the bin? All they need is a good wash, like.
A good wash?! They need burned. Is he good-looking?
Aye, he’s a good lad, he’s a good-looking lad. So what would you score my man
out of ten? Aw, he’s… He’s ten. Easy ten, easy ten. You see, Tom, Tom is the friend
that everybody needs in this life. Key wing man, like. What a friend Tom is, you know. What would you score Amber? I’d give her a ten as well, like.
Ten, yeah? Aye. That’s nice. You touched me now. Oh, shit! This has gone left! She just touched him,
“Are you single?” Yeah, she might meet Mr Craic
and not like him, so she’s got a reserve now, Tom. You get me? Nah… Come on,
Amber, any more questions? Nah, I’m going steady.
No, that’s grand. No, wait, are you? Are you single?
No, I’m going steady. Oh. Fuck.
THEY LAUGH What would you say was the worst
thing about you? I’m probably just a bit of a dick. I’m very harsh.
I’m quite a harsh person, like, I don’t beat around the bush, which
I think offends a lot of people. So I feel like I talk my mind
too much, is that a bad trait? Give us an example, maybe. Like, when you walked in here,
I didn’t pull any punches, I said this place
is fucking disgusting. Which could have offended you.
It’s not that bad, like. Could have offended you.
Man said it’s not that bad. Hold on, let me grab something
for you lot. Oh… Oh, stop. Man’s just got
egg shell in the corner. HE LAUGHS That’s part of the game.
It’s such a mess. HE LAUGHS So, ladies and gentlemen,
the time is now up. You asked some questions,
Tom has answered. Tom has asked some questions,
and you have…? Answered. So that means we are over and out! Why the fuck did you clap? We are going to be meeting
someone connected to Mr…? Snippy. Mr Snippy.
So, it could either be a friend, a family member, who knows? Question is – do you have
your questions prepared? I do. Yeah? Can Mr Snippy’s mate please
make your way into the room? Hey. Hiya, please take a seat.
Ah, thank you. Please take a seat. AMBER AND MONA: Hi.
How are you? I’m grand, yourself? Pleased to meet you, yes,
really good, thank you, yeah. Lovely to meet you. Oh, you too. What’s your name? Mona. Mona. Yeah.
Filly, lovely to meet you. So, Amber when you’re ready, please
fire away, your first question. I’m assuming, does he do
barbering as a full-time…? RAZOR BUZZES
THEY LAUGH She’s a joker!
She didn’t mean to do that. That was an accident, innit?
I knew it was, you jumped. I didn’t mean to, it’s fine. Would he do barbering, like,
full-time? Yes. Yeah? Yes, he does barbering, yeah.
So would he be in, like, a shop? Yes, he’s got a shop. Oh, has he got a shop and all?
Yes, mm-hm. Oh! Eyes spread out when she heard
he’s got a shop, you know? Yeah, it’s his business, yeah. Um, so, when we were up there, I found, like, a wee love jar. If I could get it… Oh. This wee one here. Yeah. And it had, like,
the wee notes in it. Yeah. Who’s CLUCKING?
Robbie’s ex-girlfriend. How long were they together? They were together two years.
Two years? Yeah. And when did that end?
Um, about eight, nine months ago. Cos I was kind of like,
“Oh, why does he still have this “in his room?”
Do you know, he didn’t realise. It feels weird meeting you
before meeting him as well. Oh, does it really? I don’t know whether he looks
like me or not, you know? Aye. Yeah, he’s… Yeah, yeah.
Don’t want to give it away. Well, if he does, you’re winning,
cos you look fantastic. Ah! Calling me Phil! Nickname! Do you have any questions for Amber? Were you in a relationship?
A long relationship, or…? Um, I was with someone
and he cheated on me… Oh, dear. ..and I saw him cheat on me.
Oh, dear. Ladies and gentlemen, Amber has
asked Mona some questions, Mona has asked Amber some questions,
they both answered. So now, that means we are
over and out! All the rooms have been snooped, the friends and families
have been questioned, it’s time for Amber to make a…?
Decision. Exactly that. Mr Craic’s
friend was called Tom. He was almost too good at answering. Like, he seems like he would be
the type of friend to lie to you. LAUGHING: Yeah. Mona. Mona was Mr Snippy’s mum. When she came out, just… Dropped, just straight into
perfect daughter mode. LAUGHING: I see, I see. Like, yes, I have never done
anything in my life. I am perfect. You need to make a decision. What’s it going to be? Who are you going to get
rid of and why? I don’t know. Oh, this is so hard. I know who I’m going to pick, and who I want to go
on a date with is… ..Mr Craic. You want to go on a date
with Mr Craic? Yeah. So you’re getting rid of Mr Snippy?!
Yeah. I just feel like me and Mr Craic
have so… Like, we’d have more in common
with each other and we’d get along a lot better. I thought the show was called
Hot Property, though? That man’s room is disgusting. His whole set-up is dirt. I’m going to clean it.
I’ll clean it. OK, Amber has made a decision. Please may I have
the production phone so I can show the rejection video? Hey, it’s Robbie. I heard
you didn’t pick me for your date. Wrong choice. But anyway, good luck. Ah, what? He seems like a guy. Oh, she don’t feel him.
I’m happy with my decision. Definitely. We are going on a date
with…? Mr Craic! And Filly will be joining Amber,
if that’s all right with you? Yes. Come on, I’ve been here
from day dot, so it’s only right
I’m there at the end. Come, let’s go, man. The time has come for Amber to go
on her first-ever blind date. Let’s just say, hypothetically
speaking, you don’t like him. OK. What happens then?
I get out of there. So, how long would you need to know
whether you feel him or not? Er, usually the first five minutes.
First five minutes? All right, cool. So I’m going
to be checking my watch, if in five minutes you’re still in
there, I know it’s going well. And if after five minutes,
you’ve come out, then it’s gone…? Bad. Yeah, well, I normally say left…
Like, left is my… Left? Yeah, left is like my little… Anyway, let’s just go on the date,
man, come. Hi! Nice to meet you. You too. I’ve got you wine. My favourite. What’s your name? Amber? Amber. Yeah. Jamie. Jamie.
Nice to meet you. You as well. Why is there spoons here? I’ve got… I’ve got a set meal
planned for us. Right, Amber is in there now. It’s been two minutes and a half. She ain’t come out of the building
yet, so I’m guessing, so far, so good. Has that bowl been cleaned, but?
Yeah, of course it has. Right, I am trying this, and I swear to God, if I don’t
like it, I’m not eating it. You’re… This is nice! It is actually very nice! It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever
tasted! She actually enjoys it! OK, look, time’s up. She has to be feeling him. I’m going to go in there
and see what’s going on. So when was your last relationship?
Like, why are you single? I’ve actually never
been in a relationship. I’m just picky, like. See. Yeah, no,
I get that. I would be the same. Yeah… SPRAYING Yeah! That was right in my face. So you’re telling me it’s date day, and you can’t even
bother cleaning up! Oh, my God. This is a mess. I wouldn’t even let my worst
enemy shit on the floor. Cool, let’s play some games.
Who’s ready for some games? Yeah. Yeah. Make it happen.
Bring through the beer pong! Ladies and gentlemen,
make some noise for your host for the evening – Yung Filly! Our contestants will be playing beer
pong. On the right-hand side, we have, straight from Northern
Ireland, Belfast, make some noise for… On the left-hand side, we have the lovely girl Amber that looks
like the other blonde bird, from Game Of Thrones,
what’s her name? Let me know.
Make some noise for Amber! OK. How the game is going to work – they both have a chance to
throw the ball in the cup. If they miss, then they
have to do a dare. And if they get it in the cup, then
they need to tell the… Truth? Yes. OK…. Oh, he missed. When was the last time you slept
with someone? Well…? Erm…two weeks ago. All right, that’s not that bad,
yeah, that’s fine. I’m just going to throw one out the
back. Amber, what is your favourite
sex position? My granny is going to see this. Don’t worry about Granny,
Granny is good to go. Doggy. Waa! That counts. I dare you, Amber, to go and
lick a plate off the… No! Fuck off! Fuck right off! I’m not doing that!
Will you lick the plate for her? Aye… Is that a stain,
or mould, what is that? Can you see it? I don’t know. Disgusting. That’s child abuse.
You’re not a child! FILLY SHRIEKS That’s fucking vile. That’s vile! I’m definitely better craic
than you! Fuck off! Now it’s too far gone to clean. If you just took one day,
I think you would be able to get it done. Time’s scarce. I actually don’t know who I’m
clapping. For taking part. This is where it gets cruel,
yeah. I’m going to allow… This is the serious bit of
the whole show now. You get me? So you both have my number
on your phone. This is going to
be very straightforward. You both need to text me, yes or no, as to whether you want
to see each other again. It’s as simple as that. All right? So please
take out your phones and send me that magical text. Mine’s not delivering. Right, well,
you work it out or you’d best call your provider and just pay the
bill now. I don’t know what you’re going to
do, bro, but I need a text here.
It’s not working. Not on the phone… Hold on… PING OK, it’s come through. Yeah. The texts are in. And I can confirm… ..hmm… I don’t… HE SHRIEKS I can confirm…they both said yes! Come on! Let’s end with a little
kiss, then, a little peck. Yeah, look, he’s ready! Did you see that?! When I said
a peck, his whole body changed. He went… He came alive. Amber’s shying
away, he’s opened up. Well, I… You might not want me
to be here for the kiss, I’ll leave the room… Fuck it, come here.