cleaning the house with your mom
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cleaning the house with your mom

I’m hoooO- OH What! Is! This! Mess! What’s the matter? This is disgusting. What did you do in here? The house has looked like this for weeks, ma. Gamestop? You’ve been playing games? Yea, you bought that for me. This is not acceptable… I try to make this a home. *keys clatter* And you come in here, and you throw your crud everywhere- Why are you messing it up then? This is- I’m- Mom. This is 90% your mess from looking around. WHAT IS THIS, A CHEESE BALL? This is gross! You ate, like, a third of them already. I was watching Sex and the City, i didn’t even know they were here. Will you help me? Get off your tooshy and come help me, right now. Fine. What do ya want me to do? What is this?? I don’t shop at Macy’s, you shop at Macy’s. How, tell me, would you lie? I did buy these. Yea, whatever, man, bro. Is This WOOPY? *Pfft* Who is this woopy? *Laugh* Mom, that’s Buzz Lightyear- Who the hell is Bugs Reichyear? *Laugh* I’m just getting sick of all the clutter. I- I’m panicking. I- I’m panicking right now. I’m panicking right now, just give me some space. Let’s just figure out what we can keep and what we’re throw’n out. Okay? Tortilla chips. Get this out of here. Well, why don’t we throw out some of these packets? You’re talking about gettin’ rid of garbage. (You got packets all over) I need those. No no no, I need the packets What for? It’s garbage. No, it’s not garbage, it’s food! It’s been sitting in here since 2003! These are edible still. 2010! The government puts those on there so you don’t buy ’em. 1999! Okay. This has been in here since 1999. That was a good batch! This is when they made food right. These don’t expire. Crushed red pepper, ma! Mom, this one’s parmesan from 2004! That’s fine! Lemme Don- AUUGHEUUA okay, we can get rid of the cheese (Yes!), but we’re keeping the barbeque sauce. Scuh- We- Wu- Migh- Nee- Ca- Ah- We use ketchup all the time! It’s a little bottle. Like, I got a mini ketchup here. This stuff is perfectly fine. What is this? That? Oh, that’s so fun. This is fun. You can unlock the bottle cap- *Bottle Noises* Pop it off. I think that’s for real bottles. We do need this- But we’re keeping the scented candles. Mom, you buy more toys than anyone. These aren’t toys, they’re tools for raising a family. Shush, they’re assets. You’re an ass. WAHHH!?!?!? What’re these? Tums? What is this? Peene? Who’s Peene? Is that a sex thing? Who’s doin’ the Peene cups here? We don’t need these wood glasses here do we? Wood? *Laugh* Doom? Doom and gloom, none of that. No, mom- *Laugh* You’re leaving cups everywhere an’ spillin’. WAHH!!! What the hell… HEY I’m not gonna hear that in my house. (I, don-) Oh my goodness This is not acceptable. Who did this!? *Burp* eughh What is this! Mom, thos- What’re these? (GOD MA!) I don’t remember having all these pairs of shoes. Just quit getting them. Just- Can we get rid of these? Those are literally my only pair of shoes, though. I haven’t seen you wear them all day. It’s Sunday, I haven’t left the house! That’s not my problem. PUT YOUR BUTT AWAY MOM! God. We’re throwin’ ’em out. I don’t know if we shall Wuz in here- EUGHHHHHHHHH (Oh god) I don’t know what is happening to this family, Buyh- It is falling apart right now. It’s just a dirty house, ma. Aw, you put poopy clothes in the laundry. Poop all over all these things. *Chuckling* It wasn’t me. EUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Mom, we’re doing more work in here. You’re just walking around pointing out stuff. What’s one thing here that we can throw away? Show me a thing, i’ll tell you if we can keep it. Okay, uhhhh- Like, what is this? Why do we need this? (Oh well that’s Tristan’s from down the street.) You know Tristan, the little cripple boy in the wheelchair? Woah, you can not say that. (Don’t touch my boobs.) OOOH MONEY!! Mom, no, that’s not yours. Hey, finders keepers. What is this? Is this- Is this a bullet? No, look at this, this is a little trinket i got at the little flea market down the street. (Ahh) Okay, that’s kinda neat. We’ll keep this one. Okay, we’ll keep that one. What about this F•R•I•E•N•D•S™ beer cover? You- It’s F•R•I•E•N•D•S™! You don’t even drink beer. You know F•R•I•E•N•D•S™ the sho-uhhh Nobody told me i can be my wayyyy *clap x5* Okay, I can’t do this, I can’t do this. (Ma) This is too much. Mom, where are you goin’? The main room is a disaster! I just want to start small, let’s clean your room first. Mom, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. EEEUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH subscribe for more garbage *outro music* captions by Brenden C. sneaky sweet jams


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