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Chris Rock Gives His Recap of Final Obama White House Party


-Were you at the White House?
Final party at the White House? -Yes!
I was at the — Everybody was there. It was like —
It was — Whoa. The last party
at the White House… First of all,
you’ve been to the White House? -Yes.
-It’s amazing. -It’s unbelievable.
-You walk in, you see these humongous
portraits of the presidents
everywhere you go, right? So I’m there, and it’s me
and Ahmir is there and Jay Z, Beyoncé,
Oprah, Stevie. It’s like I died and went
to black heaven. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ]
We were all — -E.T.
-Yeah, it was un– There was a few white people
there, too, you know? A couple —
you know, Kid Rock or somebody. Somebody. Somebody.
Katie Couric, something. [ Laughter ] There was a couple.
There was a couple. There’s a lot more now,
I’ll tell you that. [ Laughter continues ] [ Chuckles ]
There’s a lot more now. -[ Laughing ] Yeah, yeah. -And they had entertain–
You know, you’re sitting around, you’re meeting people,
and you mingle. First, you mingle. And at one point, it’s me
and Michelle Obama just talking. I’m not really supposed to be
alone with Michelle Obama. That’s not really my lane. I don’t know
how to talk politics. And, you know,
Michelle Obama’s like, “I don’t know
what we’re gonna do. The country,” and, you know, we’re talking
about election and stuff. “I don’t know. I don’t know
what’s gonna happen. This is such a crazy time.” And I go, “You’ll be a’ight.” [ Laughter ] That’s — I literally said that. -Let me write that.
-I said that to Mich– I said, “You’ll be a’ight.”
-To the First Lady. -And then I said, “You know, you’ll get
any kind of job you want. I mean, ‘The View,’
‘The Housewives of Atlanta.'” She goes — And Michelle Obama
looks at me and is like, “I was talking
about the country!” [ Laughter ] “I wasn’t talking about me.” -The Housewives of Atlanta? -“I was talking
about the country!” And I had never felt
so stupid in my life. It’s like my G.E.D. flared up,
you know? [ Laughter ] And she gives me a look like, “Who let this [bleep]
in my house?” [ Laughter ] She didn’t say that, but that’s
what the look was like, and then she goes, “Oprah!
I got to talk to you!” And she runs away from me,
and then I’m feeling dumb. I’m like, “Okay, I got to find
some people as dumb as me.” Like, I got to find my
intelligence, so I’m like, “Okay, where
the athletes at,” right? [ Laughter ] “Where the athletes?” Then I seen Charles Barkley,
like, ah, my [bleep] What’s up?
Right? [ Laughter ] So I see Charles Barkley,
we talk for a minute, right, and then they ring a bell, and you got to go watch
the entertainment, right? So it’s me, Charles Barkley,
and Jay Z go in this room and watch the entertainment. First, it was Herbie Hancock, and he was amazing, like
[Imitates keytar playing] And then Stevie Wonder, like, kind of snatches the mike from
Herbie Hancock, right, and starts playing his stuff
and puts some extra blind in it, you know what I mean? Puts some like… [ Laughter ] Put some extra… You know what I mean? So Stevie —
-Check, please! [ Laughter ] -You know, Stevie’s been
in the White House more than most presidents, so when he act like he don’t
know where he’s going, he’s lying, right? [ Laughter ] He’s been there for, like,
nine presidents. So — So Stevie’s playing,
and me and Jay Z get sad ’cause we realize we’re never gonna play the White House,
you know? -Yeah. -I mean, like, he’s never gonna
be like [bleep] ♪ What’s my
mother[bleep] name? ♪ That’s never gonna happen,
you know? That’s not gonna happen,
not with one — We’re only on the first black
president. -That’s right.
-You know, black president 12, there might be
a Wu-Tang reunion, but not — -Not now.
Not gonna happen. -Not while
we’re in the single digits of black presidents, right? So… [ Laughs ] Then the party started,
and Quest starts playing music, and it’s amazing
and we’re dancing and it’s a bunch of black people
dancing our asses off, and it’s just amazing
in this place — in a place that slaves made,
okay, in a house that slaves — black people enjoying
the White House, man. Just amazing. And Sasha and Malia and Obama’s saying goodbye
to people and everything. And as I’m walking
out the White House, I look up on the wall, and I see
a picture of George Washington with a bloody tear
coming out his eye, just like…
and that was pretty much — -That’s pretty much the party
at the White House. -That’s pretty much it. -Chris Rock.
Go see him on tour. Oh, my God.

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