Adrienne Houghton | Advice to My Younger Self | All Things Adrienne
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Adrienne Houghton | Advice to My Younger Self | All Things Adrienne

– What’s up everybody? I cannot tell you how
much I’ve appreciated all of the advice that I’ve
gotten throughout the years whether it was from my
parents, family members, friends, co-workers. It has been a true blessing in my life. So guess what? Today, I am going to share the love and give you my number one piece of advice on a bunch of different topics. A lot of it I’ve had to learn on my own through tough life lessons
so this is pretty much my advice to my 20 year old self. (upbeat music) My number-one best piece
of fashion advice would be, be comfortable and make
sure you have on panties. Make sure that it’s not see-through. I had to learn the hard way that you’ve got a flash test things whether it’s one of
your girlfriends be like test this and make sure
this isn’t see-through and make sure that you
have on under clothes. (upbeat music) Best piece of makeup advice
is practice makes perfect and I think that learning your own face is the best thing you can
do when it comes to makeup. Try different things, try new things but learn what looks best for you and what makes you feel
the most beautiful. Other people have been trying to tell me I should wear black eyeliner
in my waterline for years and I’ve rebuked that in the name of Jesus because that’s not for me. It makes my eyes look small and beady. It works for other people,
but it doesn’t work for me. It’s just not my judge. (upbeat music) I did so much crap to my hair growing up, bleaching it, doing crazy styles. I know there was a lot of
people that at the time were doing like a half shaved head. I considered that for a moment, cutting my bangs in weird ways, all that to say heat damage. I think I felt the best about
my hair when it was healthy. So I say condition, get
a cut every so often. Why you holding onto those dead ends? Let them go, set them free. I’m hard to get a haircut, okay. Right Ray? Ray be like, “Please cut those ends,” and I’ll try to fight
him and I’ll be like, “Girl what are you holding on to? “They’re dead anyway.” (upbeat music) The best advice I’ve ever
gotten about accessories is take one piece off
before you walk out the door and I love this because being Latina, I be trying to put on all
the accessories at once and sometimes that’s just doing too much. So I think growing up like it was like the bigger the earring the better. Sometimes you can just
look at yourself and go, you know what, like right
now with this outfit I always wear signature
pieces like my necklaces, my bracelets never come
off but I can look at this and be like maybe the
watch is doing a lot. I’ve got earrings on,
let me take off one piece and then we’re good. (soft rock music) Social media is people’s
highlight-reel of their life. It’s what they want you to see, what they want you to believe. My mom gave me my best piece
of advice and here it is. If they don’t know you
personally don’t take it personal and I love that because in hard times when people are saying things
that are just aren’t true or just bullying or just
being flat-out mean, you have to remind yourself
this person doesn’t know me, they don’t love me, it’s not
my mom, it’s not my sister and I think that that really allows me to get great perception
on what’s going on. I think that in those moments I’m like, where is this coming from
and who is this person? Oh they have no profile pic, got it. (upbeat music) Dealing with haters, man. I think you have to
constantly remind yourself that Beyonce has haters. Some of the most successful people we know get hated on, get spoken badly about. Jesus had haters, okay. Remind yourself that
you’re in good company and that when there’s haters
you’re doing something right. I think my whole life
I’ve dealt with haters. Some of it was just that
they just didn’t like me and I get that. I’ve met people before,
people that I’ve seen on TV and I’m like, I just don’t feel it. So at some point I had to recognize that I’m gonna experience that too. There’s gonna be people
that are gonna love me and there’s gonna be people
that are just not feeling me and that’s okay. You have to be okay with the fact that everyone isn’t gonna love you but you just need a few
good people that do. (upbeat music) When it comes to dealing
with weight issues, it’s so important that we recognize that we aren’t just what we look like. Yeah it’s cute to put on cute clothes. Yeah it’s cute to take
you know hashtag OOTDs but that isn’t what makes you beautiful. Like I think the moment we recognize that none of this actually matters, this is just fun and icing
on the cake, cute, whatever but like you’re not beautiful
if you have an ugly heart. There’s no cardio,
there’s no weightlifting, there is no soul cycle
that can fix a bad heart and the moment that you really
put your time and energy that you’re putting
into beating yourself up about what you look like physically into making sure that
you’ve got a great heart, that you’re doing things for others, that you’re kind to people, that you smile at strangers in the street, that you’re drinking water, what? I think the moment you
take care of what’s inside, you naturally are going to
feel a lot more beautiful no matter what weight you
are, no matter what shape, no matter what you look like. The moment that you really acknowledge how beautiful your heart
is, you’re beautiful. (soft guitar music) When I’m not feeling
comfortable in my own skin, I make lists so I’m really
weird about stuff like this. I like to make lists about things. Pros and con lists and I
am very solution oriented. So I try to figure out well
what is it that I’m not liking. If I wake up every day and I’m like, “Man I’m so pissed, I
don’t have a six-pack,” then I go and I eat a bacon
egg and cheese on a bagel. I have to be like I’m
not putting in the work and the girls that are on
Instagram with six-packs guess what, they’re putting in the work. You have to be realistic about
the role that you’re playing in what you’re unhappy about. With that being said,
there are some things that you’re not gonna be able to change. There are things I can’t
change that I’m 4’11, not that I’ve ever wanted to but there are moments
where I look at fashion and I’m like man I wish I could wear that. I wish I was you know 100
pounds and six feet tall but that’s not my body type. I’m very curvy, I’m 4’11
I’ve got hips for days, I’ve got no torso and
I’ve got chicken legs. So I’ve just learned to accept that, learned to love that,
learn to for all the things that you complain about,
make a list of the things that you do love about yourself. You have to find the positive things and I think that that will
definitely outweigh the negative. (upbeat music) Here is my best advice for
dating and I swear by this. Have you ever checked into an Airbnb or been on like Zillow
or an apartment search and they have the filters? All right guys the name of the sermon is Change Your Filters. I promise it to you, I talk
to my single girl friends all the time about how I literally based on the filters that I
have for who I wanted today, I never would have ended
up with my husband. I swore that I would never
date a man with children. Well I changed my filters. I didn’t limit myself. I changed my filters on age. I think if a lot of my
girlfriend’s said okay, I’m only gonna date a man with a six-pack, girl, the six-pack could
be inside the cooler and then when you get him, you guys can start running together but imagine the amazing guy
that you could be missing out on just because you’re like nope,
he has to have a six-pack. Nope, he has to be six
feet, what if he’s 5’10? Like you’ve got to change your filters and open up your eyes. Granted I completely agree
that there are certain things that you should hold true. Like I wanted a man that
had a relationship with God. That was important to me. I wanted somebody that would pray with me, that’s important to me
but I used to be like, “Oh my god he has to be a certain height.” Those things go out the window. Love is love is love and
if you want true love, change your filters. (upbeat music) I know this sounds so cliche. It’s like everybody told me
this when you know you know. And I went my whole life
like when you know you know, this is so stupid. These people don’t even know
what they’re talking about and then I experienced it for myself. In my past experiences in relationships, I actually used to resent my mother for the way that she raised me. Now you have to stay with me people. I was raised with a lot
of love and affection. We didn’t have money but
I was as rich as can be when it came to love in my home. My mom told me everyday, I
love you, you’re beautiful, she hugged me, she kissed me. She would build me up, she
really built my self-esteem, made me recognize how important
it was to have self-love and then I got out in the world of dating and it was a harsh reality for me to get out in the real world and recognize that people didn’t love the way I loved. So one day I was on an
airplane with Israel coming from Orlando and
I will never ever forget we were holding hands
and just having a moment and he just looked at me and said, “Why do you love me?” I didn’t have the answer in the moment so I had to think about
it and I just sat there and in the moment I was so
overwhelmed that I started crying and I was just like because it hit me, I actually thought about
it and I figured it out and I was like, “Oh my god you love me
the way my mom loves me. “Like you tell me you love me. “You tell me you love me,
you tell me I’m beautiful. “It’s not that like you
think I need to hear it, “it’s that you actually think it about me “so you say it.” When you love somebody
you just say I love you and I think that’s how I
knew he was the one for me. (upbeat music) Get that credit score up. Credit, credit, credit. Okay, so it is important
to get a credit card because you need to
build a line of credit. I was always told by
growing up in the hood like don’t max out your cards, don’t get a credit card. If like anyone calls you when you turn 18 to get a credit card, you
don’t want to end up in debt. So I would pay for things in cash. I learned that I actually
needed a line of credit because that’s how you can
actually prove to creditors that you can take loans of credit and then at the end of the month you can responsibly pay it off. When I turned to certain age and I’m like, “Oh I want to take out a loan “or I want a mortgage for a house,” they were like, “You
have a low credit score,” and I’m like, “How could that be? “I’ve never not paid my bills on time? “I’ve never had a credit
card that I was in debt for.” They were like, “It’s not that. “You don’t have any line of credit.” So I had to learn the hard way so hopefully this advice
is helpful to you. (upbeat music) I think that there’s nothing
like seeing the world and I think you can get an education, you could read books or you
can actually get out there and go see it for yourself and for me, that’s the way I learn. I love being in other countries learning about other cultures,
learning different languages. I also think it helps you be respectful of the life that you live and the life that other people live. If you only live in your four walls and you only see what’s in front of you, I think you have a harder
time being empathetic to other people’s lives and
other people’s experiences. So I say travel as much as you can. Do you always have to
travel in a luxurious way? Absolutely not. People underestimate
the good old road trip. Me and Israel love a good road trip. When I tell you we get playlists, I’m the DJ of course because I can’t drive and we go to Santa Barbra. We even take weekend’s
and go down to Malibu so it doesn’t always have to be where even if you can’t afford
an airline ticket, get in your car and go somewhere, create an experience for yourself and there’s magic everywhere. (upbeat music) When it comes to choosing the
right career path for yourself or being passionate about it,
my number one advice would be no one can do it for you but yourself. No one can believe in you for yourself. No one is going to believe in you if you don’t believe in you. Why should I believe in
you have you’re confused and you’re unsure? So I think sometimes
you really really really have to be sure of yourself, be confident, recognize whatever that goal is and make a list of steps
to get to that goal, short term and long term
and my number one thing, is never give up. Never ever ever give up. If you have a real dream
that is inside of your heart, never give up and continue
to work towards it. That doesn’t mean don’t get a job until you become Brad Pitt and
you’re starring in a movie. No, you got to be realistic. Get a job that allows you to
work towards your dream job and I think there’s
nothing wrong with that. I think that you can use that money to work towards what the next step is and what the next step is
and just keep moving on and moving forward but I think definitely believe in yourself as the
number one great advice. (upbeat music) My best advice when it comes
to friendships is honesty. Honesty is the key in friendships. Oh my god I love this line. When someone shows you who
they really are, believe them. So my thing is now at 34 going on 35, I’m like look man, this is who I am, I’m gonna be honest with
you and crazy thing is when you’re showing
somebody who you really are, they in turn will have no choice but to show you who they really are. If you are in a conflict with them or if you feel some type of
way and you can just be honest and say listen, “I didn’t
like it the way you did this “or this hurt my feelings,” or something as simple as, “Girl I’m broke “I can’t go to that fancy
restaurant tonight.” and if they turn around and say, “Oh well good then let’s not go there. “Let’s go somewhere cheaper,” or they say, “You know what girl, “guess what I got paid
this week, I got you,” or they’ll go, “You don’t have money?” Guess what, all three of those responses showed you that that person truly is and in that moment don’t beat yourself up, don’t stress yourself out like oh my god it’s my fault
that we’re not friends. No, they showed you who you are, let it register and keep it pushing well. (upbeat music) Girl if Cardi B ain’t the
truth in this situation. If you ever are wondering
if being you is wack, let me tell you right
now I saw a book cover and it said, “Be yourself,
everyone else is already taken.” And that is a work right there and the proof of that is
that with social media, obviously with YouTube
as an incredible platform people are showing who they truly are even from like Lilly Singh
who was doing her own comedy and doing her own thing, something no one had ever done before. I’m sure a lot of people
were like, “That’s weird.” and now look at her. She’s incredibly successful. Look at Cardi B. She is authentically who she
is and unapologetic about it and I think you could say what you want, you may not like it but they
are true to who they are and I believe that if every
single person in this world was true to who they are, authentically themselves all the time, I promise it to you that the blessings that were
intended for you will be yours. So that is some of the best
advice I’ve ever gotten. I want to hear what you
guys think about it. You like it, you don’t like it, I hope some of this advice was helpful to your heart, your mind. Let me know some of the best advice you’ve ever received in the comments below and don’t forget to subscribe. Love you guys. (blows kiss) (upbeat music)


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